Princess Snow and the Empress

29: A Prayer

Winter

Snow set her calligraphy brush against her ink stone and stretched her aching fingers and arm. Before her, the wet, black ink on the parchment paper glistened in the candlelight. She stifled a yawn and looked over what she had written:

May all beings in this universe be happy and well.

May all beings be set free from suffering and pain.

May all beings find peace in an uncertain world.

May all beings be protected from harm.

Satisfied with her writing, she carefully placed it on top of the tall stack of parchment paper at the side of her table. That was the most work she had ever done in her life. She flicked a tear from her eye and rubbed her face with her hands. Oh, she was so tired, but she still had so much more to write.

Her gaze swept over the pile of colorful prayer flags she had spent days sewing. When the sun rises in the next few hours, she will personally hand them over to the Palace temple, together with the prayers she had written.

Fourth Brother. I pray that you rest in peace, and that in your next life, you will be reborn into a good family, and that you will have a good life.

To the stranger in my dreams, I pray that your suffering will come to an end, that your pain will be eased, and that you will be set free. It was something that she prayed often, over and over again until she fell asleep. She wanted to ease his pain, but she did not know how to, other than to pray for him, and to write prayers for him.

She picked up another piece of parchment and her brush to start writing again. Just when the brush tip dipped into the ink, she paused. There was something she felt she needed to write for herself, something that she would keep for herself. Her brush glided over the paper:

May I accept with understanding and wisdom the events in my life.

May I forgive others and myself for the harms we cause each other.

A lump formed in her throat as she stared at the last sentence. She set aside the parchment to let it dry, took a fresh piece of parchment and then continued with her writing.

At the temple the next morning, she lit joss sticks for Fourth Brother and the stranger, and put her hands together in prayer before the deity decorated in gold. She kept her eyes closed as the abbot chanted sutras at her side. Her robes were a muted grey, and she wore a single white flower pin in her headdress as a sign of mourning for Fourth Brother. Dangling from her ears were a pair of moonstone earrings she had discovered in her dresser that morning, and felt compelled to put on.

Outside the temple, her prayer flags fluttered in the wind. As she passed underneath, she hoped her prayers and words would float up to the Heavens.

Lotus helped Snow into the palanquin. "Your Highness, where would you like to go now?"

Snow looked up at the overcast sky. "The Gate of Heavenly Purity."

Her attendant's arm trembled beneath Snow's hand as they walked across the courtyard tiles, charred black from the pyre. Hundreds of yellow paper talismans to ward off evil had been pasted in a haphazard manner along the walls and doorways. Two huge talismans with strange, frightening script written in blood-red ink, crisscrossed the entrance to the Empress's chambers.

"Your Highness, w-we s-shouldn't," Lotus said when Snow peeled off one of the talismans. 

"You don't have to follow me," she said, releasing Lotus's arm. "Wait for me here." With a deep breath, she pushed open the red and gold doors and stepped into the dark, ruined interior.