Misfortune in class E-2

Prologue

Oh God. Oh no. What have I done, this would've never happened if I just said no, if I was strong enough to refuse. What have I done, oh I'll never be able to return to who I was. Everything's gone to shit, it's my fault, I wasn't strong enough to say no. I killed them all, I made the others watch. they did this. It's not my fault, not my fault... it's theirs, I never wanted this. Why did I ever give in? This would've never happened, why. I never ment for this to happen, they were never ment to be hurt, never ment to be killed in the bloodbath I created. The suffering they indored, the pain, the misery, the despair. Why did I choose this path, why was I the one they chose to use, was it because I'm the only one who held their memory? That ever knew they existed? Was it because I was that easy to manipulate, to use!? Would this have happened if I resisted more,  if I mainted more control over them in the past? They didn't deserve this, the ones who lived to this day resent me I see the looks they give, the hate in their eyes. I dare not tell them the truth, I don't know how it would affect them, how it would hurt them. I killed their loved ones, I hurt them they know that, I just hope I'm never forced to truly tell them why. I don't want to hurt them further, but it doesn't matter the actions I take from here, I don't even have full control even now. I've tried so hard to prevent their actions, yet I've never succeeded, I fear I never will. I'll forever be stuck here, witnessing the chaos and destruction that I'll never have control over. I just want to go back before it all, but nothing can reverse my actions. I truly deserve their resentment and hate.

I truly deserve this despair and guilt following my actions. Even if I never fully have control, I'll try to never reveal the truth, to hurt them further, but I know no matter how hard I'll try, they'll end up falling deeper into despair. I never wanted to hurt them... never.