Misfortune in class E-2

Chapter. 1

"Why you ask? Because wouldn't it be fun! C'mon you can't say you haven't thought about it."

"So what if I have? That doesn't mean I should act on that, you realize what you are suggesting correct?"

"OH C'MON! It'd be great, you could do whatever you want, no one could control you. You know that right, you could talk to me openly, you wouldn't have to listen to silly doctors or take silly pills."

"..."

"Silence speaks volumes you know, so you agree with me?"

"No, your ideal and ideas are ABSURD! Why would I want to cause chaos and ruin, you know it won't last long!"

"Silly that's the point, I don't want it to last forever that'd be boring! But to have fun even for a day would be thrilling! Why, when it collapses and backfires that's the most exciting! Don't you-"

"Please be quiet, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Aewww, did I upset chuu."

"Quiet, go away for awhile please... I don't have time for you."

"You want me to go back to the hiddy hole in your mind, you know... in there, I can feel everything you do, hear your thoughts. Then you'd have no way to argue with me!"

"Quiet... please just be quiet."

"Oookaaayyy~ whatever you want. See you laterrrr~"

Why must they be like this? What happened... they use to be sane! We use to be happy, a happy... happy, ah what am I thinking about. It's useless to dwell on the past. It will never cause any good. I should call it a night, she'd be mad if she found out I didn't take my pills today, or yesterday or... you know what nevermind. I didn't even finish my homework *sigh*, oh well, it was inevitable that my grades would start slipping eventually. I should just call it a night... and try to actually get some sleep tonight, but I feel that someone'll interfere.

________________________________

I woke up about 2 hours ago, it's currently 6am on Friday, April 13th. I have more information about the worst event in history, more importantly how it came about, but that's not what this file is about. This is about the risk, the pure danger I'm in since I started this. I know it isn't smart to continue my investigation on this matter, for there's some out there among the chaos that'll have my head. Just for these measly incomplete records, they'd kill me, for fun! A sick game, but that's what makes this so fun, so exhilarating. But, if I don't do this who would, who would make these sacrifices? Most focus on living and providing for their families, but I have no one left anymore... so I might as well risk my life for these records and logs that may be of use someday in the future. Or, if they find me, it'll cause more chaos to in sue, but that's a matter for another day. I'm surprised they haven't found me out with what great lengths I have made to get even a little bit of information under my belt. They have killed the resources I have used, I'm sure they're aware of what I've been doing, how much useful information I could possibly hold. And if they ever find me, I'm aware of what will happen if they get their hands on these files. I'm aware of what will happen, how many will be killed at the expense of history. But these files! These are revolutionary, you could only obtain this information if you were there in the midst of the chaos.

That's what makes these so splendid and important, those who I have interviewed who have not already died will end up dead. Those who have survived, didn't subcome to the hands of despair. Those who survived have been through hell and back. Those who survived were involved in the start. They never submitted to despair, for that they are courageous, but they are also dead in the eyes of their past peers. They have betrayed them, so now they must be eradicated, some have already been killed. To make it this far is a grave achievement. For to make it in this world will cost you sanity and morals. making it one day itself is an amazing sacrafice! But to live for what cost? Living will just lead to death eventually so why have morals to begin with? Why suffer to live when death will come knocking on your door one day. Even boss monsters have given up there infinite life to produce offspring, they've accepted death.

Before all this, they use to say that only the strong survive, but I've come to disagree. The strong were actually the first to die, they thought they stood a chance against them oh how funny monsters and humans alike are. Those with determination, bravery and justice didn't even make it a year. While as those with patience and integrity, were the majority to survive. The others were too kind or weak minded to last long in this world. Many without possessive souls tried to run, fear taking over them, and what fools I say! Even monsters had lasted longer! Those who had fought lost the moment they declared their strength, those who ran were sentenced to death the moment they thought they could escape. This is what those who survived had realized, they realized you would never make it in this world if you sought to fight, and you would never make it if you thought you could run.

That's what makes them even more intriguing, they are the symbol of grief and despair, yet they live! Truly it's amazing, there were ones who still fought, even after seeing what's happened to those before them who fought back. It's become a great show to see them fall to their knees, they've tried so hard in a futile attempt to end this. It's wonderful and magnificent to see them fail! Through this I've seen what the man behind this was getting at, it's fun to see them writhe, to see them scream and cry in sorrow! It's something truly amazing! There are some who disagree with my mindset, but because they held hope for life, they discarded theirs. Through my studies I've discovered the man behind this was against the idea at first. But something happened, perhaps he saw the world for what it truly was. Something full of despair, that not everyone could bare witness. I never truly found out why he wanted to spread such despair. But after witnessing the great affect and joy it's brought me, I'm truly grateful.

Once more on him, I have no knowledge of anyone that influenced him, even through my studies and interviews with old friends. If I ever wanted these questions I'd have to ask him, but he's gone now, the man he was, the knowledge he had. He's no longer who he was his past self discarded. Well this is if he's still alive that is. Though I have reason to believe he's still alive, theres still signs of him influencing his goons. Another theory I've been hearing a lot recently is that he was truly never in control. Which is an interesting thought, ideas like that, things that need investigation is also why I do this. I want to find out the truth, behind his motives, find answers to questions historians could never find the answer to. Though, I'm aware some questions will never be answered, that's a given, for some people with answers die too early. Some hold secrets they take to the grave, and others never make it out alive to share secrets. I myself hold secrets about this event, about who the man once was, about his old ideals. To put it in simple words I knew the boy and lived, but that's a past memory now. The man we've grown to know, will never be that same little boy I once knew... that I had grown so attached to, that I loved.

For, He is forever shadowed by his former actions, he'll never go back to being mine. I truly miss him, I should've been there, I should've treated him better, but alas.

Tomorrow's another day.