my owner - c.h.

34

Elena's POV:

This absolutely sucks.

I am married to a man I barely remember and my best friend has just died. This really sucks.

Some people may say that he would've wanted me to have moved on and forget him but I honestly can't. He was there for me through thick and thin, he was there for me when no one else was. He was there during my struggles and my success. He was there for me to cry to, to comfort me, listen, and I always gave that exact amount of love back. He was my brother and I miss him so much. I haven't left the room for days when I knew that I should be preparing to care for Michael's child.

I can't do this.

The baby will remind me to much of the man that I once went to for every little problem. I can already imagine him. The bright, vibrant green eyes and pale skin his father once had.

Wiping away a few tears I hear a soft knock on my bedroom door,

"Babe? Do you want to talk?"

Sighing, I slowly open the door to see a worried Calum holding a small bouquet of flowers for me.

He could visibly tell that I was struggling with my words so he just placed the flowers on the dresser and held me as close to him as he could. Sniffling, I bury my face into his shirt and sob. This wasn't a quiet sob you would see in movies, these were the loudest cries that have ever escaped my lips. Calum held onto me so gently as if I would break as I sobbed and sobbed into his chest. We were standing like this for around an hour until I finally ran out of tears to cry.

Calum slowly pressed his lips to the top of my head and wiped away any of the tears still running down my face. His eyes held so much sadness and empathy towards me as he wiped my face softly.

"Do you need anything? You haven't eaten for a while, do you want to go for a walk?"

Silently nodding, I heard my stomach rumbling from not having eaten for two days. Laughing, I finally smiled. I never thought that I would ever smile again and that I would forever be a lifeless soul waiting to finally be reunited with my best friend.

I looked up into Calum's big brown eyes and saw so much happiness that just made my heart melt. He pulled me close and started laughing.

"I never thought I would hear that again."

He grasped my hand tightly and pulled me downstairs into the dining room. Gasping, I took in my surroundings. I saw my favourite meal perfectly laid out on the table, in the middle was a beautiful bouquet of flowers and my favourite movies and books. Smiling, I look up at Calum, damn he's a giant, and saw him searching my eyes for any type of reaction. I quickly wrap my arms around the back of his neck and smile into his shirt.

"Thank you so much."

He didn't say anything, he just took my hand and dragged me to the table. Pulling out the chair, I quietly thank him and begin to devour my food. Normally I wouldn't eat like this in front of Calum because well, he's practically God on Earth, but I was so hungry I didn't have a single care. I look up from my near empty plate and saw the biggest smile on Calum's face. Why would anyone be smiling at a woman who has makeup streaks down her face and at the same time have food all over he face? That will always remain an unanswered question. Once I finished,I stood up to grab the plates to wash but Cal just yanked the plates out of my hands and ran to the sink.

"Cal, what are you doing?"

"I'm washing the dishes, duh."

He said this as he was trying to figure out where the dish soap was. Laughing, I go into the cupboard and pull out the soap and yank the sponge from his grasp and began to wash the dishes. Whining, he wrapped his strong arms around my waist and nuzzled his face into my neck mumbling. Laughing at his childish behaviour, I dry the dishes and put them away before I'm whisked away to the couch. I watched as my husband crawled on the floor and popped a movie into the DVD player and sat down wrapping his arm around me. I inwardly smile as I saw the title to Finding Nemo appear on the screen. I layer my head on Cal's shoulder and slowly began to drift asleep when Melvin and Dori are in the pod of jellyfish.

Yawning, I woke up to see the bright morning sun blinding me and a warm welcoming smile coming from the man I have grown to love. Without any words, I look to my nightstand to find a small bowl of Cheerios waiting.

"I-uh, I wasn't sure what you wanted for breakfast so I just got you some cereal. I hope that's ok." He smiled sheepishly.

Smiling at the warm gesture, I quickly grab the bowl and start to feed my child-like husband.

"I can't wait until we have a kid of our own to feed like this."

Crap. I totally forgot about little Michael. I began to slow down and eventually placed the bowl back onto the nightstand. Cal noticed and took my tiny hands into his huge ones.

"Are you ok Elena?"

"What am I gonna do Cal? That baby will only remind me of Michael and I don't know if I will be able to handle it. What if I fail him? That's my worst fear, that I'll fail Mich-"

I was cut off by Calum's lips on mine.

"That is some of the dumbest crap I have ever heard from you. Babe, you will not nor ever fail him. You are helping Mikey by being there for his child when he can't. I know you will be the best mom to that kid and that you will not "fail". No matter what you do, it is still amazing and absolutely perfect. Don't doubt yourself because you know how much I hate it when you do that to yourself."

Dumbfounded. That's the word to describe me right now. Man, I am one lucky girl if I somehow managed to have such an amazing man love me like this. There was only one thing to do right now in this exact moment. I kissed him.

"Thank you baby. That means so much to hear that from you, I love you so much Cal."

This is when realization hit me. I know I have to bring my old self back if I wanted to raise Michael's child. I can't be a lifeless soul and have to go back to being myself. They were all right. Michael would've wanted me to forget and be myself. I'm going to try. Not for me, not for Cal, not for little Michael, but for my best friend.

He took my hands once again and patted my thigh.

"C'mon get ready babe. We're gonna go for a walk."

Nodding, I began to head for the bathroom. I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the warm shower, letting my thoughts consume me.

Will I be good enough?

I know I said that I would try for Michael but I don't know if I am capable.

I couldn't tell if there were tears running down my cheeks or if it was the now cold water from my shower. Turning around, I ended my shower regretfully and stepped out. I began to get dressed by just slipping on leggings, my Hood sweater and black flats. I dried my hair and threw it up into a messy bun and jogged down the stairs to find Calum. One problem though, he had no shirt. His back was turned to me as he was making tea. I cleared my throat and he whipped around blushing.

"I-I was just making some tea to go for us..."

He pushed the to go mug towards me. Grabbing it, I sighed as he sadly slipped a shirt on. He reached out for my hand and we began our short walk in the park.

We were walking side-by-side, hand in hand. It was a beautiful day out and the relaxing atmosphere let me almost forget about my worries, almost.