fifty-one; guilty

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"After all of this, how can you not hate me?"

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"After all of this, how can you not hate me?"

I was sitting on the floor, not sure how long it's been since she left. I had everyone around me but it felt truly alone.  I feel numb, like part of me died with her. I could have spent so much more time with her, but I didn't, and now she's gone. Because of me. I killed her.

I killed them all.

I look up from the ground as I see Clarke walking my way. The woman who betrayed us. Who told them we were coming. I don't say a word as I stare at her, not moving.

"We're discussing what we will do, I thought you want to be there." She tells me, almost afraid to say the wrong thing.

"Will O be there?" I ask and she looks away, nodding in deny. "Then why should I?"

"You've paid for what you did."

"She didn't? Wonkru's dead because of us, all we did was pay for what happened." I get up so that I could be at the same height as her. "Everyone's dead. Everyone."

"I'm sorry for Delphia..." Clarke swallows hard.

"You betrayed us, and now she's dead." I breathe out. "She forgave me, you know?" I struggle to keep the tears in. "She didn't hate me. She said she loved me." a lonely tear leaves my eyes but I quickly clean it away. "If O's not there, I shouldn't be neither."

"Please?"

"Why don't you hate me? You hate her, why don't you hate me?" I ask harshly.

"Believe me, I do." She replies and I swallow hard. "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be there."

I swallow hard and she looks away, after a few comments pondering about what I should do, I follow the traitor to the command room and everyone's already there. Their conversation goes quiet when I step in.

Bellamy was in front of everyone as a window to the burnt earth closed. John was sitting on a big chair and as soon as his eyes meet mine I looked away.

"Why is she here?" Raven asks and I look at her who's looking back at me, disgusted. I don't reply but she keeps going. "Do you even know how many people you got killed?" She scoffs.

"Like the woman who made me and who I loved like a mother?" I ask back, feeling my heart tightening even more, what I thought impossible. "Yes, I know." I reply to her question.

Bellamy stops the argument by clearing his throat, "Like our ancestors on the Ark, we're the last of the human race."

"Our ancestors were wrong. We're not." Clarke continues.

"412 people on this ship. Thanks to Madi, we saved who could be saved. Now it's our job to keep them alive." Bellamy states and swallows hard as he looks at me making me look away.

FIRE AND GOLD ▸ JOHN MURPHY (editing) Tempat cerita menjadi hidup. Temukan sekarang