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It's a Friday night in April. I sit on the couch with tears all over my face and the phone in my hand. Kate and I had an argument again, which has happened more often lately. Now so much that she left my house. It's hard to be in a relationship like this. Outside of school we can reasonably do what we want, although we have to be on our guard. At school is the hardest. Pretend you're almost strangers to each other. Always be careful not to accidentally say something wrong, which someone else can hear. Be careful not to look at each other too often. What Kate finds most difficult is that she has the feeling that I treat her differently from the rest of the students. That I am stricter for her, among other things. I don't feel like I do that myself, but I can't get that feeling away from her. This was also the reason for tonight's fight. She informed me that she didn't want to continue our relationship like this and left angrily.

So now I'm sitting on the couch, with the phone in my hands. Wipe my tears and call the principal from school. It takes a while before he picks up. When I'm about to hang up, I hear the director's voice. I immediately apologize for bothering him on the weekend and at this late hour. Fortunately, he does not make a problem of it and indicates that he can hear from me that it is urgent. I explain my situation as much as possible. Obviously not that I have a relationship with a student at his school. Well that I met someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. That I'll lose her if I keep going on like this. So I tell him I want to resign. I expect him to go against me, but luckily he is very compassionae. He even says that he likes to hear that I dare to go for love. He says to call me back the next morning to discuss this further.

I don't sleep all night. I can only think of Kate. If I can still make it up to her. At ten o'clock the phone rings, it's the principal. He tells me he's been calling around all morning. Then he comes up with something I didn't expect at all. I can stop immediately if I really want to. I don't believe what I hear. I was afraid I would have to finish the year. I tell him that I really want this and that he doesn't know how grateful I am for this. He says he doesn't want to get in the way of love and that I'm lucky to have a teacher coming back from maternity leave. Therefore it is now possible. Otherwise it would have taken a little longer. We agree that I will make sure that I finish all my work for the rest of the weekend and that I can hand over everything to my colleagues on Monday. I'll say it'll be all right and I'll be there early Monday to get the paperwork done and then we'll hang up the phone.

I am nervous. It is Monday morning and I have no idea how Kate will react to this. I arranged the paperwork with the director and gave Joe the necessary information about my mentor group. He becomes their new mentor. We have decided not to continue the English hour with my mentor group. Joe himself then stands in front of another class and we thought it better that he would be there when I tell the students.

Now it's almost time for me to tell the class that I'm going to stop. So also to Kate. As much as I wanted to tell her this weekend. It didn't seem like a good idea to me. If she's angry and doesn't say anything to me, that's a sign that I should leave her alone. Otherwise, I often only make it worse. Normally she says something after a day, but now nothing at all. So she's really angry. At least now I had the time to finish everything.

Classes are about to start. Now I have to send Kate a message. I think she’ll leave the classroom right away, when I start my story.

- Honey, don't get angry right away. Please listen carefully to everything I have to say. X.-

-?-

-You'll soon find out what I mean. Promise me you'll listen. X.-

- Okay I Promis. xxx.-

- Thank you. I love you. X-

Luckily she does respond. They may be short answers, but I'm glad she closes the message with kisses.

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