Chasing You Through Time

Separated

I love you, Cu... My eyes opened to the sun peering down in between leaves, the soft noises of a spring day sinking into my blank mind. What was I thinking of? Words... words from someone... what words. I scraped around in my empty mind. Nothing. The sun beams above me blurred in a watery haze. I lifted two fingers to my eye, tears gathering on their tips before they had the chance to slide down my cheek. "Am I... crying?"

Sitting up on the grass I looked around on the oddly familiar scene, but the nostalgia left almost the moment it was acknowledged. "Where am I, and how did I get here?" I asked the wind. Sadly it had no answer for me.

When I stood, my legs felt like they were ready to sit me right back down. I'd just woken up, but my body seemed to want more sleep. The exhaustion was odd though, more emotional exhaustion than anything. "What the hell happened to me?"

My feet seemed to remember their strength a little, enough so to take me off to a road not far off. The road trailed to a bridge that suspended above a small gorger. Hooves beat on the wooden bridge.

"Setanta?"

My eyes shot up at the gruffy voice. "Fergus?"

"What are you doing out here alone," he looked around the terrain. "And with no horse? Where's Liath?"

"He's... he's with Cathbad. But why is he with Cathbad?" I tugged at the end of my hair, feeling around the broken memory.

"I don't know, he's your horse." Fergus rode closer. "But on another note..." Fergus eyed me up and down, an eyebrow raised. "What are you wearing?"

I looked down at the odd plain navy clothes, then met Fergus' eye. "I'll be honest, I have no idea." A focused frown set on my face. I had no idea about a lot of things right now. It was weird, I seemed to remember the past weeks, what I'd done, the events within them, but they were all blurred frames. Something was missing. Dazed, I stared down at my empty hand.

"Hey... you alright?" My eyes flicked back up to Fergus. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I feel like I've seen one too."

Fergus grunted at my comment. "Well why don't you come with me? I'm heading in Cathbad's direction anyways." Fergus held out an inviting hand, and I took it with a grateful smile, hauling myself onto his horse. "Let's grab a drink, get some pink back in your cheeks. Besides, I haven't seen you in months, and I'm dying to hear what story you have now." He said, guiding his horse back into a steady trot.

"Oh, I am too."

"What do you mean?" There was concern in his voice.

"I... it's nothing," I shook my head. "My memory's just a bit foggy is all."

Fergus chuckled deep and heartily. "Now, I'm even more intrigued." When I never responded, he glanced over his shoulder at me.

"Hey, you alright? You look ready to faint." Arms wrapped around Fergus, I let my forehead fall against his back, closing my eyes. "If you're feeling that tired, try to get some sleep, it might even help jog your memory."

I smiled at the suggestion. "Alright Emi--" The word halted on my tongue, like reason cutting stopping me from doing an old habit, the word vaporising from my mind.

"What?"

"Nothing... I was just saying that I'll take your suggestion."

Fergus humed in thought, then continued on, this time humming a song. The melody took me away from the empty memories, laying me to rest in sleep.

***

The portal closed behind Cu, leaving me in my afterlife. With Cu gone, I now had one more person to occupy my concern with. Alexei was standing now, bracing himself with an arm against the wall. With sudden gain and expulsion to unravel the fabrics of time and space then sowed them back together, I felt I might need a wall to brace myself too. My head was spinning. A ruffle of brown hair popped up from underneath my arm as Alexei slipped in as a very unsteady crutch. I smiled at the boy. "It's alright, Kid, I can stand." Instead, I grabbed onto his shoulder, keeping him from falling. Alexei looked up at me, appearing to want to speak, but never did. "What is it?"

He glanced to the ground, then back to me with a firm look. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, fine, why do you ask?"

Alexei's eyes moved to the spot the portal had appeared just a moment before. "Well, that man... I don't know who he is, or what was going on but..."

"I understand what you are getting at, and I appreciate your concern, but I'm okay." He gave me a questioning eyebrow. "Promise." I reaffirmed.

Heavy footsteps trampled the hall outside. I pushed Alexei back, swords flicking into my hands as the door swung open, and Rayon's army entered. Gums raised, but my swords were faster forming like steel arrows, ripping through the men.

"Emiya!" Alexei's voice was alarmed and urgent. My heart stopped, racing through the worst scenarios. As the incantation was uttered, a shove came to my back. I turned my head in time to see a beam of hot molten light streaked through the spot I'd been standing moments before; the spot Alexei currently stood. A hole in his stomach, Alexei looked as shocked as I felt.

I didn't look, didn't hesitate in sending a sword straight through Rayon's damn mouth, something I should've done long before. Sliding to my knees Alexei fell into my arms. The shock was gone, replaced with contentment. Hot blood ran through my veins at the sight. Content? Content with throwing away his life? Stupid, stupid kid!

"I didn't run away this time," a weak smile was on Alexei's lips. "I managed to do something right..."

You should have run, you shouldn't be here. The words were stuck within my mind. Preaching them now would be nothing but hypocritical. Besides, I could taint his last moments with a scolding, belittling what he'd done.

"Thank you, Alexei."

His smile widened to his eyes, then the light faded completely. Holding the lifeless boy in my arms, I set a rain of swords down on anyone who even dared breath. A breath suffocated in my throat, I remained still. Of course... why had I ever expected another outcome? Cu may delude my life with light, showing me a good, but that doesn't change the dark truth. Only death will come from me.

Laying the boy's body on the cold hard ground, I closed his empty eyes, smoothing back his feathery hair one more time. Swords forming in my now empty hands, I moved stiff and stoic back to my duty. Yes, I'd sent a sword through the head of the snake, but there was a whole organization, and Alaya was seeking their blood. So, I got to work.

The winter wind whipped through the streets, and the cold sidewalk wasn't much comfort. I sat there, leaned up against the brick wall, staring off into another dead city, only this time it was I who'd killed it. Dead bodies littered the street, blood pooling enough to make streams in the gutters, and I, the only breathing soul.

At my feet was my last kill, someone not yet old enough to even be called a man. What sixteen? Seventeen? Someone probably drafted in against his will, or swayed by pretty false words. He begged for his life when I killed him.

I looked to the sky.

Blue motes were floating up, tinted darker than the sky. My body broke apart, dispersing, taking me from the sad land to somewhere just as desolate.