No Repeats

The Feng family

"Boy, you need to remember, when you set the trigger string, it must be taunt enough to trip the prey otherwise the prey can find it footing and sidestep the bait!" Uncle Feng affectionately patted Feng Yi's shoulders as he spoke.

I stood there stunned looking at the trio walking towards me. Tears brimming in my eyes, I can only stand still taking in the faces I have lost so long ago.

Uncle Feng is tall and burly, with his full beard and long, half grey hair tied at his nape. He towers over most people and with broad shoulders and rock-hard muscles, he is an imposing sight indeed. His rough look and mannerisms bely his gentle nature. Even though poverty and time have marked his forehead with wrinkles, his handsomeness is still evident. I remembered that grandma has told me that Uncle Feng have had to reject many proposals of marriage after his wife's death despite his poverty.

(Author's note - Uncle Feng is modelled off the late Godfrey Gao, just imagine more wrinkles!)

Feng Yi is three years older than me. At sixteen years old, he is already a sturdy and tall young man whose handsome chiselled looks take after Uncle Feng. As we were growing up, Feng Yi was my older brother, he always looked out for me and gave me the best fruits he picked or the best prey he hunted. I knew he was protective of me; his eyes would never leave my body during the many times I've climbed up the higher branches of wild fruit trees and his body was always posed to catch me in case I fell.

If Feng Yi was a younger version of his dad, then Feng Er is the splitting image of his mum. Aunty Feng was known for her beauty and gentleness. It is quite a sad, Aunty Feng died due to complications after giving birth to Feng Er. Because of that Feng Er carries around a burden and guilt for causing the death of his mother. I used to have to constantly remind him that it wasn't his fault and, of course, Aunty Feng just wants him to be happy, but the guilt is too deep.

Feng Er is a year younger than me and is my best friend and confidant. While his brother protects and pampers me, Feng Er entertained me and was my co adventurer as we roamed the mountains for fresh fruits and mushrooms. He is gentle and softly spoken but can be outrageously funny as he puts on one-man skits to entertain us.

The last time I saw them was the day before I got kidnapped and sold. While I was planning my escape, I got news that my whole village was struck by a plague which killed off two thirds of the village. The infected bodies were piled high and burnt to ashes immediately. Their ashes were then scattered over the Valley of the Doomed.

That day I fainted and fell sick for a month. The head steward felt pity on me and had another servant take care of me until I recovered fully. On the brink of life and death, I had dreams of my grandma and the Feng boys surrounding me and tearfully bade me farewell.

I remembered my grandma's sad smile as she stroked my face before following the Feng boys to join their father who was standing in the distance with a beautiful woman and by their side were my parents. I had desperately tried to chase after them, but my body couldn't move or make a sound.

At that moment, I woke up from the dream and felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and I knew I was truly alone without family or friend.

Many years later, in desperation I returned to the village with Huang Yu Li. He was heavily injured and lost everything including his will to live. While dragging along the deadweight man, I took in the eerie atmosphere of the empty village, left by the dead. I confirmed that my grandma and the Feng family were long gone.

"Xiao Mei, you are up! What a relief! See kid, I told you Little Mei has a strong life and she'll be fine! You can stop worrying now!" With that Uncle Feng released a booming laugh that broke away my trance as he thumped Feng Yi's back, making him loose balance and stumble forward.

"Uncle Feng!" I cried and rushed forward to give him a deep bow, "thank you for saving me, I owe you my life and vow to be a cow and horse so I can repay your live saving grace. Not only you saved me, but you saved my grandma as well, who is more precious to me than my own life". With those words, I kneeled onto the ground and bow to him with my forehead touching the ground.

Before I could do a second bow, I got pulled up and wrapped in a big bear hug. For the first time in years I felt the familiar sense of security and comfort of his hug.

"Don't be dramatic Xiao Mei, what cow and horse, what repaying debt? Little kids like you should forget that nonsense and live your life to the fullest. I didn't save you so you can repay me."

The big bear of a man released me and before I could say a word, looked down into my eyes and said, "silly kid, don't grow up too fast".

Those words unexpectedly released a floodgate of tears and emotions that I have been suppressing since I woke up and through cooking dinner. I broke down and controllably brawled my eyes out. I cried so loudly and shook visibly from my sadness.

As my body racked in pain, my nose and eyes leaked uncontrollable tears and snot as I relived my most painful memories of the last ten years. I allowed myself to drown in sadness at everything I had suffered and the pain that those around me had to experience.

My broken heart ached in pain at the sadness loving a heartless man, unable to escape the suffering and endless mistreatment from his wives and concubines. I remembered the gut-wrenching pain when I was forced to abort my child as I am deemed unworthy to carry his lineage.

I remembered the shame and disgust after being raped in exchange for a few business opportunities. I remembered the emptiness and desperation to end it all, the feeling that pushed me over the edge towards death.

I made such a racket that several neighbours came out to watch as my grandma tried to calm me down by stroking my back.

Uncle Feng and his sons stood by awkwardly, shifting from one leg to another and looking at each other nervously, not knowing what to do.

They are inexperienced with cry-baby girls!

"Hmm...Xiao Mei..." Uncle Feng tried to whisper as he started to kneel next to me, his eyes pleading for help from my blind grandma. His eye signals were lost on the blind woman.

At this point I had lost all self-control and have been squatting on the ground and indulged in the cathartic cry.

"Uncle Feng, thank you. I really needed that hug. Can you please join us for dinner after you wash up and settle in?" I finally spoke up, wiped my tears from my face. I could hear that my voice was hoarse, and my eyes were so puffy that they struggled to open.

I guess they didn't want to risk further triggering me and quickly agreed. I held my grandma's arm as we walked inside our hut and set up the eating space on the floor while we wait for our visitors.

(Author's note – Shu Mei is an introvert, who lives honestly and quietly, so when she faces challenges in her life, she would tend to hold it inside and try not to burden others. But the coping mechanism only works so well until the person can no longer deal with it. People are social beings, yes, even introverts need social interactions and people who love and care for them, that is the only way we can build our resilience and weather the storms. I hope you have people who will weather those storms with you. Please 'like' if you enjoyed the story so far.)