Goodbye's Second Chance

Now Show Me Your Fangs

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TW/CW: childhood abuse, proceed with caution

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6 Years Later

The time following that Christmas passed quickly. I spent a month recuperating in Japan before I was able to go back to Argentina. In that month, Oba-san came over only two more times and neither time was particularly warm. I was happy that her love for her son overrode her prejudice, but I still hated that it was so tense for Haji. There was a wall between them now and I couldn't help but feel responsible. He made it clear that it really had nothing to do with me, but more the fact that her son was gay and how that was never going to change.

A few weeks before I was scheduled to leave, we made the trip to his parents' house to talk with his father, and as expected, it didn't go well. I was up all the night before throwing up from the nerves. I hid it from Iwa though-it would have made the pressure on him so much worse. His father sat down across from us and never said a word, not even to greet us. When Iwa finished saying what he wanted to say, his father stood up, and just stared at Iwa for a moment before raising his hand.

Iwa stood up in front of him and waited for the impact. He glared at Iwa and it was the most expression I'd ever seen from the man. I guess he expected him to cower. I grabbed Iwa's hand as I jumped up in front of him, cast and all, squarely footing my place in the path of the swing in place of Iwa. He seemed to think about actually hitting me for a minute before he dropped his hand, turned and walked away, slamming the door to his study behind him.

Iwa held it together until we got back to his apartment. We walked in and his knees gave out, collapsing him in a shaking mess on the floor. I'd never seen him like that, but I know all to well how you can only hold it all in for so long. I sat down in front of him and just held him, just letting him finally get out all the emotion he'd locked away for years. We expected that he would react badly, but actually experiencing it was a whole other thing. I never expected he would get physical with Haji. Then to add to it by being treated with such disgust by someone who is supposed to love you, hurts more than any physical wound could.

I'd been wondering the whole time after we left if it was the right thing for me to stand between him and his father, that maybe I'd interfered with something Iwa needed to finally do, but I just reacted and my only thought was to protect him. He'd never once gave any indication that his father was physically abusive-ever. In all the years I'd known him, I'd never seen his father touch him, but then again, I rarely ever even saw his father when I was over his house. The possibility had crossed my mind a few times, but I never thought it could really be the case and, to be honest, I spent the last several years we were in school avoiding looking at him too closely, out of my own fear. If only I hadn't been so selfish back then.

As we sat there, he finally opened up about the years of abuse at his father's hands. It hadn't been the first time he'd stood up to him, but it was the first time anyone had interfered on his behalf. "I was so scared he was actually going to hit you; he hits like a hammer and you've been hurt enough because of me." He said as he broke down into tears, "I couldn't move though. My body wouldn't move." I pulled him tighter to me.

"I've taken his shit my whole life, but he still terrifies me. Then you jumped in front of me and my mind went in a million different directions." He said as his tears soaked my sleeve. I just held him and kissed the top of his head. "You're the bravest person I've ever known, Tooru, I hope you realize that." Was the last thing he said before he went quiet. I kissed his head again and said, "I hope you know the feeling is mutual." He sat up and turned to look at me, confused. "What you did today, what you did in the hospital, what you did on that sidewalk in LA, took more courage than most people will ever be able to summon. You knew the way your family would react and yet, you still took that leap." I watched those green eyes get glassy again as I spoke.