Train Wreck

fifty

I don't know how much time passed but everything stayed really foggy. Leah brought us glasses of water so Lissy and Remington pulled seats close to me and let us know how things went so far. The coroner had gotten Greg's body so now it was just a matter of the funeral and burial.

Saying Goodbye.

"I barely said Hello..." my voice cracked, hoarse from crying, "How am I supposed to say Goodbye?" My sister's eyes met mine and hand slid across the table, reaching for me. Remington rubbed my back and I looked over at him, my heart broken even more when I remembered all we talked about and how he told me about being sad that he was going to lose his only family. "Remi? How can we be there for you?"

He looked at me and furrowed his brow, tilting his head just like Peach does when I hide her frisbee behind my back and confuse her.

Lissy stood and moved, scooting around to kneel in front of Remington. She gently took his hands in hers, voice calm and soft like it usually is with me when I am at my worst. "Baby, we are here. You are not alone. I promise. We won't let you be alone."

Remington wasn't looking at her but seemed just kind of like his body was here but he wasn't.

That makes sense.

It's how I feel.

I can't speak. It's like I'm trapped inside this shell and need to just function one breath at a time.

Leah said something about food but my stomach rumbled and I felt really sick. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up, quickly feeling a cold washcloth on the back of my neck as Lissy softly sang "Landslide," while sitting on the side of the tub and comforting me.

"Oh, take my love, take it down...

Climb a mountain and you... turn around..."

Her voice shook and when I caught my breath I turned, noticing the dark circles and how exhausted she looked. I felt her hand wrapped around my wrist and my mind began counting as we started to sync our breathing while I tried to regulate my body, struggling just to do anything I could to give Lissy some relief.

She needs a break. This is crushing her heart, even if it's a different kind of grief than mine.

I know she loved Greg also. She also loves me and Remington, so seeing us in so much pain, not to mention helping Remington this morning, has to be devastating.

"When?" A single word escaped in a breath as I rested on my arm over the toilet seat. Liss grabbed a hand towel and wet it in the bathtub with cool water, wiping my face with one hand.

She waited a few moments, maintaining eye contact and nodding along as we breathed, before sniffling as the words tumbled out. "He called at 2. He got up and just.. Knew. Beep.... Beep... he had no idea what to do. It was ."

Lissy burst into tears and I sat up straighter, moving closer to hug my sister and try to comfort her. I can't imagine how hard that would be. She always has to be the rock for everyone else, but no one is usually there for her.

"Thank you for going without me."

Lissy nodded, releasing a long breath as we both kept trying to collect ourselves. It didn't have to be said. We needed to get it together so we could be strong for Remi.

She helped me up, replying, "You didn't need to see that. I called Leah right away and she came over. Kenny came with me and helped me get everything handled for awhile but had only just gotten over here when you woke up. We called Doc at about 6 since she needed sleep and would not be able to do anything anyway, so she and Jesse know now also."