License to Choose

Chapter 8.

Chapter 8 -LTC

Butterflies and sweaty palms were the physical factors that showcased Mason's nerves as he parked his car along the line of those who were racing. The new tyres he'd secured were smooth and ensured the two-hour journey was one of the sleekest drives he'd had for a while.

Mason hadn't driven such a distance outside of Rye since the pandemic had hit, and he was glad Spencer had given him the night before off, especially considering it had been a Friday, giving him plenty of time to catch up on rest.
Still, the week itself had been exhausting, and as he plucked his guitar from his boot and moved towards the makeshift stage, the memories that had ingrained themselves into his mind returned in flashes, forcing a staggering breath to release from his lips.

It had taken almost twenty minutes for both Mason and his father to encourage his mum to see Haneul's grave. She had been persistent and cried in such a way that one would think she'd only just heard the news of her eldest son's passing. Eventually, Mason had given up, feeling the build-up of emotion he usually kept bottled, threatened to unleash, and instead chose to see his brother alone.

The first time Mason had visited Haneul after the funeral, he had deemed the encounter strange and uncomfortable. Seeing a stone labelling his brother's name, the dates of his birth and death, and his core relationships made it even harder for Mason to feel a connection. His brother was so much more than a lump in a field, and yet Mason still found himself at the graveyard whenever he wanted his brother's advice.

At one point, before his father stepped up his rigorous training programme, Mason would visit weekly, sharing stories about his week, and evaluating the latest F1 races he knew his brother would have wanted to discuss. He would talk about his singing, knowing Haneul would have encouraged him to pursue his passion though that would result in destroying a promise that was neither easy nor something he was prepared to break.

Not hearing his brother's hoarse laugh from the smoking habit he'd picked up from his father, or witnessing his eyes dance with amusement, had once been painful, but now those were things Mason was beginning to forget. He was even struggling to remember the sound of his voice, and yet the wind caressing his cheeks and drying his tears felt just as soothing as he had imagined his brother's voice to be.
It helped Mason maintain the relationship he'd always had while finding the strength to grow around his grief.

Unlike the graves in the immediate area, there were no flowers or ornaments; Haneul's was simply just a stone and a muddy mound where fresh grass had begun to peek through. Still, it was recognisable, and he was quick to place the flowers down that his father had purchased in preparation despite knowing Haneul did not care for such things.

The ground was too muddy to sit, but Mason didn't mind standing. In fact, while he was alone, he decided to take advantage: informing his brother about his predicament at school while apologising that he hadn't associated today's date with the start of his brother's demise.

Still, it wasn't a day Mason wanted to remember. At sixteen years old, not only did he lose his brother to a comatose state, but it had broken his family and led to his mother's dependence on alcohol.

The day had been ordinary. Mason and his parents were working at the garage, and when the police arrived with apologetic grimaces, it didn't take long for them to realise something was treacherously wrong.
Haneul had gone cliff diving with his friends and had underestimated his jump. It was an activity many of the residents of Rye had grown up doing, and yet it was his brother that was the first to die. It had been an accident. A bit of fun, and after six months, he was declared brain dead, and his mother agreed to switch off the machines.
It was not a time Mason ever wanted to commemorate.