That night, after she breaksdown, she fixed herself and left her condo.
She gathered herself as she walks at the pathway towards her Dad's museum. Tears quickly brimming. Finally, after five years, she's there. In front of her father's stone.
Alli kneeled down and let her tears brimmed down, again. She caressed her Dad's gravestone as she sobs hard.
"D-daddy......" she whispered, shuttering. She cupped her mouth as her voice cracked.
"D-dad.... I am so sorry, Daddy. I'm sorry." She uttered.
Hindi na malaman ni Alli kung saan pa nagmumula ang lakas na meron sya, kung saan pa nanggagaling ang mga luha nya.
Pwede bang, tama na? Time-out na muna?
Kung pwede nga lang patigilin ni Allison ang oras, o lampasan ang isang araw. Lalampasan nya ang araw na tinawagan nya ang Daddy nya, lalampasan nya ang gabing ito.
Pero hindi. Hindi pwede. Whether she likes it or not, mangyayare at mangyayare. Itago man nya, lalabas at lalabas. Pilitin mang kalimutan, maaalala at maaalala.
"I'm sorry, Dad. K-kung hindi ako tumawag sayo 'non, nandito ka pa sana Dad. May kasama sana ako ngayon. Hindi sana ako mag-isa ngayon. Kung alam ko lang na mangyayare 'yon sayo, I shouldn't have called you. I shouldn't have let you know what I've been through. I'm sorry Daddy, dahil sa'kin, you - y-you died."
Alli rested her forehead against the cold stone. Her voice cracked even more.
"I blamed no one but myself, Dad. Pero sana pala tinago ko nalang. I would have ran away, instead of telling you. But it's too late, Dad."
Napalunok si Alli at mas lalong humagulhol ng pag-iyak. Halos mahimatay na rin sya sa pagod. Pagod at hirap. Hirap at sakit. Sakit at pighati.
"Alam na rin nila, Dad. M-mommy and Ate. I told them. But I can't be with them, Daddy. Hindi ko kaya, knowing that I was the reason why you're here. I'm sorry, Daddy.. Lalo akong nako-konsensya tuwing nakikita ko si Mom. I can't, Dad. I just can't."
She honestly said. Her tears fell even more. Her eyes now pluffy because of her crying. Gusto nyang tumigil, but she can't help it.
She forced a small smile and traced her Dad's gravestone. She gulped and wet her lips.
"Have you seen my baby up there, Dad? Your - your grandchild?" She asked, as if may sasagot sa kanya.
"6-weeks palang sya 'non eh." Alli whispered, and sniffs. She lost it again.
"That night, na tinawagan kita, 'yon din yung araw na nalaman ko Dad. H-hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko eh." She rocked herself, letting her tears brims down.
"I-I'm so sorry, baby. I am so sorry... 'Nong una, ayaw kita. I don't want to keep you. Kase ayokong maalala sayo yung kademunyohan ng ama mo."
Pumikit si Alli at bahagyang tumingala.
"I don't want you to feel, na you were a fruit of his lust, his unfaithfulness to your Tita Kath. Ayokong ikaw yung sumalo ng lahat ng galit pag nalaman nila, ng Tita mo. But when your father, wants to get rid of you? I changed my mind, love. It turned into, I wanted to keep you. Away from harm, away from chaos, away from your own father. I wanted to keep you and to take care of you, showers you with my love and care. But you left me too soon, anak. And I am so sorry, love. M-mommy wasn't able to take care of you. I am not in myself that time, na nakalimutan kong I already have you, depending upon me. Depending on Mommy.. Can you, c-can you forgive mommy, love? Can you hear Mommy? U-up there?" Alli asked. She took a deep breathe as she looked up.
"Dad, please tell my baby that I love her, or him so much? Please, Dad.. Do that for me." She pleads. Muli nyang hinayaang kumuwala ang mga luha mula sa mga mata.
ČTEŠ
The Past
RomanceWhat will you do if the world throw a game but you never given a chance to prepared? What will you do if the person you thought that would never turn their back against you suddenly turned their back and never looked back? What will you do if your p...
