Herophine: All Good Things

Chapter 33

Jo's POV:

"I told Kathrine about the baby."

As Hero and I are laying there, wrapped up under the sheets, the words can't help but come out. There are a lot of things that make me think of that time between us, and every time Hero finishes inside of me, it's nothing but a cruel reminder.

"What?" He sounds startled as he leans up on his forearm to get a better look at my face. "When?"

"Before I left to come here. We were talking and it just kind of came out," I respond, my heart beating a mile a minute.

"Baby, I'm so glad you told someone. I didn't think you ever would," Hero says as he kisses my forehead lightly before laying back down on his back and pulling me even closer into his side.

"Are you okay?" Hero asks, breaking the silence between us.

That's the thing: am I? I don't even know what I feel. My heart has been so open at this point since coming here and even before I left home.. I feel like I'm numb to it all.

"Yeah. I just think about it from time to time. Sorry.. I didn't mean to bring down the mood," I apologize as I lean further into his chest.

"You're not bringing down the mood, baby. It's good to talk about. I don't like that you hold everything in," Hero says softly as he runs his fingertips up and down my bare back lazily.

I let his words sink for a moment while I search for the right words to say. But what can I say? I'm at a loss.

"Talk to me, Jo. Tell me what you're thinking," Hero whispers as he continues to run his fingertips over my skin in a soothing way.

"I'm just thinking about how different our lives would be right now if we would have had a baby.." I whisper out against his chest.

"What do you see when you.. think about it?" He asks calmly. I can hear the faint pounding of his heart below my ear. The rhythm doing a little to ease my nerves.

I came here with every intention of being honest with him. To lay everything out. We've put off talking about this subject for far too long and I know it hurts him just as much as it hurts me.

"I guess I don't know really," I begin in a shaky voice. "It's been nearly nine months since it happened. Instead of being here right now, we'd probably be at home. The three of us."

My words settle in the air and I can feel as we both let them sink in. We've never talked this much about it. Always brushed it under the rug. But I feel safe in Hero's arms right now. More at peace than I have in far too long. And we both need this.

"Boy or girl?"

Hero's soft words stun me momentarily and I can feel his heart rate quicken as well. In this moment, he's daring to allow our unborn child an identity and i would be lying if I said it didn't break my heart just a little bit more.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I think on his question before answering. Making it real.

"Girl."

For a moment, I close my eyes and picture myself holding a newborn so close to my chest, no real features able to be seen. All that's there is a small body wrapped in light pink and white in my arms.

"What about you?" I ask once I've opened my eyes again. Curious as to what Hero sees as well.

"Girl," he states matter of factly as he swallows deeply as well. My chest tightens at his confession and I watch my hand as I place it on his bare chest, right over his heart.