the least favorite child

20

"I'm sorry. I am so fucking sorry. I never should have left you. You needed help and you deserved better. When Alyssa was gone, you helped me. I should have helped you when Emily was gone. I only ignored your problems and I shouldn't have. I am so deeply sorry."

I paced around the room trying to not cry. JJ stopped me and hugged me.

"It's all ok. You are here for me now and that's all that matters. I am fine. I'm alive and ok." She assured me.

I nodded and sat down. "So what happens now? With you and rehab and Emily." I asked. She shrugged.

"No idea. I think with Emily back I should be fine. And I will have people around me. And I can't go back. It made me feel like shit and I can't do it."

"We can come up with a plan or something. We will find a way." I smiled. She nodded and followed me back out to the girls. Alyssa and I said our goodbyes and went back to the hotel.

JJ's POV
Hotch pulled everyone back in the conference room to tell us about a possible case. He said it was ours if we wanted it.

"What's it about?" Rossi asked. He was the only one that didn't seem hurt about everything. Hotch took a breath before clicking the screen.

"A friend in the NYPD needs help. There is a a drug dealer they have been trying to catch for months. They don't have anyone that can go undercover so they need help. So?"

I agreed and Penelope looked at me. We had a nonverbal fight and I glared at her. She rolled her eyes and agreed. The boys followed after her.

He gave us more info and we split for the plane. "How can you forgive him?" Penelope asked. "He took her from us. He sat while you were in rehab and he was in charge of planning a funeral." She groaned.

"Because Emily could have been killed if she didn't leave. Doyle could have come back and attacked her again. Now he's in jail and she's back. I just feel like he helped more than hurt." I shrugged.

"Damn you Jareau." She groaned. "Why do you have to be so loyal." I rolled my eyes and she smiled. "I'll talk to the boys. They just need a little bit."

I gave her hand a squeeze and left. Everyone met on the plane and Hotch started briefing.

"Ok so my friend said the unsub has dinner rep and we will meet him there in groups. Rossi, Derek and JJ will go in first. Prentiss, Reid and I will follow later. Everyone keep your eyes on him and the girls with have comms. They are the only ones that can hide them with hair."

"Yeah of course I'm stuck with them." Spencer said under his breath. He sat on the other side and Emily got quiet. I glared at him and Emily said no.

"It'll only make things worse." She whispered. We only had a couple minutes left on the plane so who cares.

"Fuck that Spence. Doyle almost killed Emily. If she had stayed he would've come back. Now he's gone and she's alive. What's the problem with that?" I stated.

He turned to me and stood up. "They lied. Do they know how badly we were hurt? What if I had gotten back on Dilaudid?"

"I went to fucking rehab! I was drunk for three days straight. And you are mad? Are you serious?" I yelled. "Give it up. This was a professional plan and get your feelings out of it."

I stormed to the bathroom and waited for a minute. I walked back out and nobody looked at me. I sat by Emily and put my head on her shoulder.

We split up up got ready for the restaurant. I got in a car with Rossi and Derek. I sat in the passenger seat as Rossi drove.

It was a pretty quiet ride. Rossi was talking about how what I had done was cool. We started laughing and eventually got there.

The only problem was, there were no open seats. Derek quickly texted Hotch as I leaned towards the hostess.

"Really? We were planning on telling my dad about our engagement. This was his favorite restaurant and it was really special." I whimpered.

"Oh that's adorable. Let me see if I can do anything." I turned back to the boys and Rossi nodded. "Pretty good." I smiled and the girl came back. She led us to a table and Derek pointed to the unsub.

I turned my comms on and started talking with the other three. "How did you get in?" I asked. "Um. I might've told the host that Hotch was my dad and we were coming back from my moms funeral."

I laughed and I heard Hotch and Emily arguing. I looked across the room and saw the two of them, it was fucking hilarious.

The waitress brought a bottle of wine over and Emily made eye contact with me. "You okay?" She asked. I nodded. "How's Reid?" I asked, looking at the menu.

"Um. Okay. I think." I looked at the menu and started talking with Rossi. "Are you done flirting?" Derek laughed, hitting my side. I smiled. "The couple has been split up for a mission." Rossi joined in.

"Yeah about that. I don't really know what we are. I mean she said all her friendships were gone. And nothing else. I think I've been put in the friendzone."