natasha romanoff one shots

i'm tired too

Warning: Swearing

Today was hell. Today left me exhausted beyond compare. My boss kept me behind after hours to complete a worksheet he needed for a meeting tomorrow. He mentioned something along the lines of 'If you don't get this done, you can scrap any ideas of a promotion in the future'. Can't help but think that's against the rules of the office but I was too tired to even consider that let alone argue my case. If I wasn't already drained before that, I certainly was now. To make matters worse, the taxi driver was borderline creepy - looking at me in his rear view mirror constantly causing me to adjust my skirt. He was definitely trying to look up it. This sparked the anxiety in me, I think it would for everyone, so I got him to pull over before we were even close to the apartment. I could not fathom spending another minute in an enclosed space with that guy. Of course then I had to walk. I had to walk in uncomfortable shoes and work clothes for I can't even remember how many blocks. All I wanted was a hug from my Tasha.

Keys in hand, I pushed the front door open and stumbled into the doorway. First things first, shoes off. Those things hurt my feet way more than a pair of shoes should. Then I plodded along the plush carpet to mine and Natasha's living room. A smile crept onto my face when I saw her there, red hair flowing down her back, standing out against her black shirt and joggers. Dumping my bag on the floor, I pulled her into a hug from behind, enjoying the safety of her embrace.

"You have no idea how much I've needed that. I've had a day from hell. I-"

She shrugged me off before I could finish, pushing my hands away and stepping out of my outstretched arms. I decided to place a hand on her shoulder instead.

"Tasha. Are you okay?" I asked tentatively. "Have I done something wrong?"

"Yes." Her reply came blunt and fast.

"Yes, you're okay? Or yes, I've done something wrong?" I furrowed my brow, confused out the way she's acting.

"I'm just tired." She responded shortly.

"Do you need me to make a coffee? Run you a bath? Is there anything I can do to help?" I pushed my own needs down into my chest to make room for hers. I didn't want Natasha to be upset.

"Y/N I need you to leave me alone!" Natasha suddenly snapped, abruptly turning around to face me for the first time since I got home. "I'm tired and I'm not in the mood for your clinginess right now. Just give me some personal space."

Tears briefly surfaced in my eyes before I forced them back down. I didn't want her comfort anymore and if I cried she would no doubt do so. Nat's eyes flickered with immediate regret at her outburst but I turned and walked back down the hallway to our bedroom, slamming the door behind me. Oh, I made that door slam. The dresser on the side shook causing a photo frame to fall face down on the floor. Fuck it. Who cares anymore.

I curled onto our bed facing away from the door. From my angle I could just about see out the window. It wasn't a good view anyway - it wasn't as though an ex-assassin and a girl with a crappy office job could afford a luxury apartment with a view. But then again the rain that started to pour down the brickwork of the building opposite reflected my mood nicely so I suppose the terrible view was fitting. I picked at a loose thread on the woven wool blanket across our bed. I just needed a hug from her. That's all I needed and she snapped at me without any explanation as to why.

I heard the door creak open behind me. I wasn't turning around for her when she acted that way with me. I was willing to forget about my own problems to help her and she goes on to snap at me like that. No matter how much I needed her I was not going to show it.

"Get the fuck away from me." I mumbled to her. I felt the bed dip beside me which told me she blatantly ignored what I just said.

"Y/N. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It was wrong of me, I know it was wrong of me." Natasha apologised. I felt her hand on my shoulder, a shifted parallel of how we stood just moments before in the living room. As much as I wanted it there, as much as I wanted to give in and let her stay, she hurt me. She hurt me and she needed to understand that.

"Don't touch me." I shrugged her off.

"Y/N, please let me apologise. Let me apologise and I will give you as much space as you need." Silence. Silence. Silence. She was waiting for my permission. I nodded, still not sparing a glance in her direction.

"I didn't mean to react that way. I'm just so tired and when I get tired I tend to need personal space and alone time. I should have politely asked for it, not snapped at you, but sometimes I lose myself and I end up getting agitated. I truly apologise. If you want space I can leave you alone. I just wanted to say I'm sorry that I acted like that towards you and that I'm here for you whenever you're ready."

And with that she turned on her heels and left, shutting the door quietly behind her. Only when she was gone did I let myself break. Only when I was alone did I let the tears fall down my face. A mixture of anger and sadness and exhaustion all released in silent, hot tears. I felt so alone. The only thing that could fix this was Natasha. My Tasha. But the other things she said really hurt me and despite her apology I was still angry. So angry. Yet, the only thing that could stop that anger was her. The one thing in the world that could ever make me feel better was her. So I had to talk to her.

I stood in the doorway to the living room watching her on the sofa. She wiped a stray tear from her face as she stared at the TV in front of her.

"I'm really angry at you." I whispered just loud enough for her to hear. Her head turned to look in my direction. Pillow in arms, hugged close to my chest for comfort, I stepped further into the room. "I'm really angry at you for what you said to me. And- and you snapped at me. But I really, really need you right now." And that's when my voice broke. That's when my voice wavered so much that Nat held her arms open for me to crawl into.

"I know I said such rude things to you. I didn't mean them, Y/N, really I didn't. I just get like that when I'm tired." Nat rubbed her hand up and down my arm.

"But I'm tired too, Tasha. I needed you after a shitty day and you just pushed me away." I explained, voice shaky and quiet. "I shoved all the crap I was feeling down to try and help you because I could tell you were upset, and you couldn't even see that I was hurting."

Nat looked down at me with sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry that I didn't realise that you were hurt. I'm sorry that I caused you even more in unnecessary pain today. And I'm so, so sorry that I'm the reason for your anger right now. I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N, it was never my intention. And I will never stop apologising for how I acted today because my tiredness was no excuse for belittling how you felt. But please, please tell me what's hurt you today. I'm listening now. I'm here now. I'm not going to push you away again."

Despite my best efforts, the tears started rolling down my cheek again onto Nat's chest. I snuggled in closer to her. I was still mad at her, but more sad than anything. Everyone makes mistakes. I've snapped at her before. I'm not going to hold it against her because at the end of the day, I need her. Now more than ever. And she apologised. There's nothing more she can do.

"Tasha. Today's been shit. First my boss kept me late and sort of threatened me into it. Then the man in the taxi was a creep and kept looking up my skirt. Then you-." I paused to take a shaky deep breath in, "You called me clingy when I needed you the most."

Remembering that made my heart sting, but telling Nat my day did take a weight off my chest. Her arms tightened around me protectively.

"I'm sorry about your boss. And that disgusting taxi driver. And you are not clingy. You are perfect in every way. You just needed my comfort today and I was too blind to give it to you. My fault, not yours." Nat replied. I could hear the sincerity in her voice.

"Nat. If you do need personal space one day - please just ask. You have your needs too, I get that. But don't take it out on me." I told her.

"Note taken. I love you, Y/N." She sighed into my hair.

"I love you too. Even though I'm seriously mad at you right now."

I pulled the blanket over the top of us on the sofa. The TV played softly in the background. This wasn't the first argument Nat and I have had, and I have no doubt it there'll be more to come. But we get through it every time. Through communication and cuddles, we sort it out. It's just the way life is.

A/N: I am not a fan of this one. I had the idea and I really loved the idea, but I did not write it as well as I'd hoped to. It was really hard to balance the argument with the forgiveness and to be honest I don't like it. But I tried and that's all I can do.

I hope you all still enjoy it though, even if I can't.

:) x