Useless...

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Eduardo POV:
I was home alone once more. Mark had gone to work about an hour ago.

I had no motivation to get up but I knew I had to eat. Even though I felt sick.

I walk slowly into the kitchen. I was in my boxers and a oversized t-shirt. I look around before seeing a bowl of granola on the table with a note reading:

'As you know I am at work. I won't be too long. I made you some granola. I hope that's ok with you!
Love Mark'

I had no idea why he always put 'love mark' at the end of his letters. Like. It's not like we're in a relationship or anything.

I sit down and get ready to start eating. I get a spoonful of granola and-...

I spit the granola out all over the counter. It not that it tasted bad. But the saliva in my mouth tasted like blood and sweat. It was weirdly thicker than normal. Must have been from all the crying.

Before I know it I start to cry again.

IM SO BLOODY USELESS!

I CANT DO ANYTHING-!

Anything...

I break down. I start too sob rapidly. I hit my head on the counter and hug myself. My stomach hurts... my eyes hurt... everything hurts...

AGH! I- I-

The tears start to hit the counter with a little splash.

IM SO SO-

I wipe my face as more tears roll down my cheeks.

SO USELESS! WHY DON'T I JUST DIE ALREADY!

I hear a sudden bang. Like something hitting the floor.

There I see mark at the door. He dropped his shopping bags and was looking at me with a concerned expression.

"Mark-?"

"E- Eddie... what's going on. Why were you screaming-?"

"It's nothing mark..."

I try to get up. My legs are shaky. I slowly limp to the bedroom. Holding onto the walls of the apartment as I go.

Suddenly, Mark grabs my shoulder.

"Ed- you are not ok. Please. I know your upset about everything that happened but- it can't be this bad. There has to be something else that's making you like this..."

"Why would you want to know..."

"Because I care about you! I know you did some things bad but..."

"There is no but too it mark... I did some horrible things in my life..."

"But when you look at them in a different way they- they are not that bad-"

"Not that bad..? Not that bad!? What are you insane?!"

I push mark off me.

"I practically abused Jon. YOU THINK THATS NOT THAT BAD!?"

I see tears start to roll down marks face.

"Oh look! Now I made you upset! I just can't make anyone happy! IM A BLOODY FAILURE!"

I run into me and marks room and slam the door behind me.

"Eduardo. Please open the door..."

"JUST GO AWAY! GO LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE! ANYWHERE IS BETTER THAN WITH ME!"

"But you don't get it I-"

"YOU WHAT MARK!?"

"I... nothing... just- come out when you're ready... I'll be in the living room..."

I hear mark slowly walk into the living room.

Great just great Eduardo! Look what you did now! You just can't live with someone and be nice to them! Heck. I don't even have to live with them to act like a total jerk!

I punch myself in the arm.

Your an idiot!

I punch myself again. In the ribs this time.

Nobody likes you!

I punch myself in the ribs again.

MARK HATES YOU NOW ARNT YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF!?

I punch myself again. I cry out In pain. Falling on the floor with a loud thud, holding onto my ribs.

You deserve this...

I punch myself again. Tears start to run down my face. I scrunch up into a little ball on the floor. Rocking back and forth as I punch myself over and over.

"I DESERVE DEATH! I DESERVE TO DIE! EVERYONE HATES YOU! EDD HATES YOU. JON HATES YOU. I HATE MYSELF!"

I stop punching myself and hold my hands close to my face.

"Worst of all... mark hates you... the only person there for you... hates you..."

I start to sob again. I sob loudly. Rocking back and forth on the floor more. I feel so weak... I am weak... I haven't eaten a proper meal in days...

I hear mark knock on the door.

I try to get up and open it. But I just fall over again in pain.

"Eduardo ple-"

I hear mark call my name. But the rest of his words are muffled my my crying.

"I- .... I .... Im.... U- u- useless...."

784 words
Started: 17 august
Finished: 17 august
(I forget to check the time before I started whoops-)

Thanks for reading!

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