Red vs blue (female OC) season 7

Hang Time

In the temple at Sandtrap, with an alien firing a machine gun turret. Pans to Sarge, Thea and Grif, who are taking cover behind a corner and avoiding gunfire.

Sarge: Grif, listen. We may not both make it out of this.

Grif: What?

Sarge: If you die, I think I'm prepared to live with that. I practiced it a lot. But there's also a chance you might survive and I won't!

Grif: (irritated) There'd be a better chance if you'd help me shoot! (starts to fire back at the alien)

Thea: Yeah sir! (Shots at an alien and lands a hit on him.) Yes!

Sarge: In case I don't make it, I can't help but think about all the future mistakes you're gonna make that I'm not gonna be there to scream at you about!

Grif: (sarcastic) Oh, stop. I'm getting all teary-eyed.

Thea: (Sarcastic) I think I see him shaking a bit.

Sarge: I just want to let you know that at my bunk back at the base, there's a recorder deck. I've prerecorded about 57 hours of rants that should be applicable in a variety of situations. Whenever you're feeling good about yourself, I want you to play one. And always remember! Somebody hates you.

The alien ceases gunfire when Epsilon-Church floats above him into the room and looks down at him.

Epsilon-Church: Oh hey, alien. What's up?

The alien immediately drops his gun and bows down.

Tucker: Cease fire!

Grif and Thea stops shooting.

Epsilon-Church: Um, the alien's being weird in here.

Grif: What's it doing?

Tucker: No, no, I've seen this before. Some of the aliens worship this ancient technology. This one probably thinks Church is sort kind of god.

Epsilon-Church: Wow! Seriously? That's pretty freaking cool.

Caboose: (gasps) Maybe that's why your name is Church!!

Epsilon-Church: (looks at Thea) If I'm God does that make you my angel daughter?

Thea: (Irritated) Not even gonna try.

Epsilon-Church looks back at the alien.

Epsilon-Church: Oh, what's up, prayin' dude? How do ya' like me now? BIP-(smashes a box into the alien)-O!

Thea: Whoa!

Tucker: W-T-Hell! Why did you do that!? I think that's taking advantage of your deity status, dude!

Epsilon-Church: Well, what good is being a god if you can't smite some people? Let's have fun...

Thea: I think you mean a king, not a god. I think, I don't know I'm Jewish.

They suddenly Heard a voice.

C.T.: The shots came from down here!

Soldier: Yikes!

C.T.: Form up, men!

Sarge: Whoa! Incoming!

Epsilon-Church: (floats back into the other room and flees) Good luck, guys!

Thea: Coward.

C.T. charges in with another soldier and Smith.

C.T.: Freeze! Lower your weapons!

Other soldiers and aliens are seen rushing in from a different entrance.

C.T. (to Tucker): You... do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused me? I should kill you right here.