Tilt up to Grif on top of New Red Base
Sarge: Grif, we're gonna need you to clear that blockage.
Grif: How?! These pieces are huge! How am I supposed to lift them?!
Sarge: Well, they say people in emotional situations can sometimes get super-human strength.
Grif: Yeah?! Well what about people in situations where they really don't GIVE A SHIT?! What kind of powers do they get?!
Sarge: Grif!
Simmons: If you can't lift it, just try clearing it with a grenade!
Grif: Um, is that safe?
Thea: No!
Simmons: None of this is safe! You're gonna start analyzing now?!
Sarge: Here, Grif, take one of mine.
Sarge throws a grenade at Grif and misses. The grenade explodes.
Simmons: Sarge! You pulled the pin out!
Sarge: Of course I did. Who throws a grenade with the pin still in it? Hey, Grif, catch this one.
Sarge throws another grenade at Grif and misses.
Grif: No! I'm not catching those!
Sarge: Dammit, I can't reach.
The grenade rolls down the side of the base and explodes very close to Sarge, Thea and Simmons.
Simmons: Aah! Cut it out!
Thea: I am not dying young!
Grif: Yeah! Let me get back to work up here!
A rocket flies past Grif
Sarge: Ya catch that one?!
Grif: Okay, here we go! (Throws grenade) Oh shit! Uh, where do I go when the grenade ex-
An enormous explosion throws Grif into the air. Debris rains down on Simmons, Thea and Sarge.
Simmons: Oh no, he's falling!
Sarge: I see that!
Simmons: Should we try to catch him?!
Thea: I'll-.
Sarge: Catch him? Hell no. He'll crush us.
Thea: NeverMind.
Simmons: What do we do?!
Sarge: I got a good idea. Let's act like we're gonna catch him, then we don't. It's a win-win.
Thea: The hell!?
Simmons: You used to jump out of ships, give him some advice!
Sarge: Oh, right. Grif, you should never join that unit! The pay is terrible and the officer is totally disorganized!
Simmons: Advice on how to land!
Sarge: Oh, right. Grif, what you wanna do is...
After an incredible amount of screaming, Grif hits the ground. Regardless, Sarge continues to talk.
Thea: Ohhhh, that's gotta hurt.
Sarge: ...Try to tuck and roll at the last second. That will transfer your momentum to inertia, and invert your ker-splat probability.
Simmons: Hey, Sarge?
Sarge: Yeah?
Simmons: I think he's down already.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue (female OC) season 7
FanfictionChurch is gone, for good this time and project freelancer has been defeated. The reds and blues have new bases in Valhalla. Caboose and Shawn are doing a mysterious project and the reds have a new car. Donut comes back with a message, that Tucker is...
