Loves Me Not

Prologue

Oppa! You're so handsome! I've always liked you. Please go out with me.

You're so cool Han Seojun! Come hang with us. We're the only people worth knowing at this school.

Words were a strange conundrum. Strung together, they could mean so many things and yet at the same time, could be meaningless, empty placeholders for shallow sentiments and false emotions.

Jeong Seoyeon, why are you crying? We're only helping you get Mi Na. You like her don't you? Then show her what you got, ha ha ha!

Pull his pants! Pull his pants! Awwww, is that what Mina's into?

Han Seojun had learned from a very young age, that he would never understand words and their meanings. Just when he thought they meant one thing, they would turn out to mean something else entirely. And in the spaces between them, there would be hidden sentiments that everyone but him seemed to know.

Han Seojun, we're best friends aren't we? Then why would you humiliate me and tell the teacher? Or are you taking Seyeon's side even after what he did?

Words were weightless, they couldn't kill you like a bullet could, couldn't cut you like a knife would. And yet they were the most hurtful weapon; tools of abuse and manipulation.

Just look at his face. He looks so evil! I can't believe I went out with him.

Didn't you hear? Seyeon didn't kill himself. Han Seojun pushed him.

In the end, the only thing Han Seojun could be sure of was this, that it didn't matter what words were said. It mattered who said them. The words of the wealthy and well endowed carried far more weight than someone whose father had passed away and whose mother worked tirelessly to make ends meet.

It wasn't me! Han Seojun was the real bully! We were only following what he said!

Seonsaengnim, it wasn't me! I never touched Seyeon. These guys are lying! Please you have to believe me. Look, they've been beating me up too! Please help me.

These guys are saying you're the one whose lying. And you're telling me they're lying. Who the hell am I supposed to believe?

But Seonsaengnim, you saw them. I even reported to you—

Don't you know who Changmin's father is? He's a respectable and honorable man. Why would his son bully another kid? Why would he lie?

Yes, from a young age Seojun had discovered the uselessness of words. Especially his. A boy with no worth in society. Even when he had shouted from the top of his lungs, no one had heard him. So he stopped speaking at all. And sure enough, no one seemed to mind his silence. People didn't prod him or ask him to speak. It was funny how easily he went on living without having spoken for years.

But even in silence, he still found a way to speak. Through flowers, he found he could communicate far better than he could with his tongue. Flowers were definite, incorruptible by human agenda. Their meanings did evolve over time, but still persisted through geography and language barriers. They were the ones that rescued him, saving him from isolation and darkness.

In flowers, Seojun found meaning. In flowers, he found happiness. In flowers, he found his voice again.