mama im in love with a fucking criminal☂ five x fem!reader

uhhhhhhh

tw?? panic attack?? sort of not really but yeah?

Shit, they're dead. They're dead, they're dead, they're dead. All of them. We couldn't do it, I couldn't stop it, and now they're dead.

I look around at all the rubble, the fire, everything gone, everything dead. I force my feet to move and take me through the broken gate that once led to the Umbrella Academy, and I see them - Allison, Luther, Diego, Klaus - dead, dead, dead, dead.

There's someone behind me. Five. I could cry in relief because he's okay, and he's alive, and he's not- not grey, like everyone else, he's still Five.

I run into him, holding him tightly in my arms. Thank god you're here. But he goes slack in my arms, starts falling over. Five? I try to say. Five! I mouth, but no sound leaves me as I try to lay him down on the broken pieces of his home as gently as I can. His breath comes in short puffs, he looks at me with wide, fearful eyes, eyes that are slowly losing the life in them, and he's fading, and he's turning grey, and he's going away, and he- he can't-

No, no, no, I keep trying to speak, trying to scream, but my voice is nowhere to be found. Don't leave me, Five, don't leave me, I mouth, holding him tightly with one hand and cupping his face with the other. He keeps staring at me with his hauntingly pale eyes. No, Five, please, please, please, I beg wordlessly, putting my forehead against his in defeat, and I want to cry but I can't and I want to scream but I can't and I want to save him but I can't and I'm sorry, Five, stay, please, stay.

He stops breathing, and I'm alone, now, and I can feel the rubble under my feet, and the sun's heat on my exposed neck, and it's too real, I can't- I'm not-

I force my eyes open, take in a gasp of air, feel something stinging my hand and - oh - I was digging my nails into my palm that hard. With shaky hands, I throw the covers off of me, and I sit up, pulling my shirt away from my back, onto where it was plastered because of my sweat. I bring a trembling hand to my face and - would you look at that - I'm crying. I run it through my hair, trying to get it off my face, my neck, because it's too hot, I'm too sweaty, I'm sort of terrified, I'm still shaking and I'm crying and where's Five?

"F-fuck," I whisper, my voice trembling, and I immediately try to get out of bed, to look for Five, because where is he, I need to find him, make sure he's okay, but then a jolt of pain shoots up my leg, knocking me back down, because of that stupid, stupid fracture, and now I can't get to Five and-

You need to breathe.

I take deep breaths, try to calm myself down, release my clenched fists.

Finally, once I can think clearly, I remember where Five is. He's going to be okay; everything is going to be okay. I'm still here, I have time, I'm not-

You can't stay here, though. You have to-

It's still pretty dark out, four in the morning to be exact, I find out after glancing towards the wall clock.

Well, there's no way I'm going back to sleep, so I might as well make myself useful.