mama im in love with a fucking criminal☂ five x fem!reader

IV

"Five?"

I wake up to Vanya's gentle voice, which is weird, since I've never been a light sleeper.

"Oh," Vanya says when she spots me instead, "Hi...I actually never caught your name."

"I'm y/n." I smile at her, "Do you have fruit loops?"

"Um, no," she says, still seemingly wary of me. "I have oatmeal, though."

I grimace at that. I hate oatmeal from the depths of my heart. "'S okay, I'll just have some orange juice." I say, getting up and folding the blanket.

"I got it," Vanya takes the blanket from me, "You go freshen up, all right? There's spare toothbrushes in the cabinet under the sink."

"Yes, ma'am," I smile as I make my way to the only bathroom in the apartment.

I come back to the kitchen to find Vanya sitting at the table, eating a bowl of oatmeal with a faraway look on her face.

"Hey, thanks!" I say, seeing that she's cooked up a plate of sunny-side-up eggs for me. "This is the way I like them, how'd you know?"

"You seemed like a sunny-side-up kinda' girl," she replies, smiling faintly.

"So." I dig into the eggs, "You're worried about Five."

"Yeah, how-"

"You're gonna go to the academy to look for him," I say while my mouth is stuffed.

Vanya keeps staring at me with mild surprise on her face.

"I know you better than you think. See, I'm-" I reconsider, "I'll tell you when everyone's together. But I can promise you I'm not some crazy Umbrella Academy stalker. At least not in the strictest sense of the word," I tack on after a little thinking.

"Huh. Are you from the future?" she asks me.

"Technically," I shrug, "I am from 2021, but not your 2021. Then again, you might not have a 2021."

"Yeah, I don't have the mental capacity for this right now," Vanya gets up and starts washing her bowl in the sink.

"You got orange juice?"

☂☂☂

We arrive in the academy in a taxi, and I am instantly dumbstruck. It's like...sensory overload. An out of body experience. The entrance, the chandelier that'll later fall on Luther and make for an awkward reveal, it's exactly the same as in the show. I might pass out.

"Hey, you okay?" Vanya asks me.

"Yeah, yeah, fine," I say faintly, "Just fangirling. You go ahead."

"Okay," she drags out, climbing up the stairs after another concerned stare.

"This is so cool," I whisper to the shelves holding extremely expensive-looking, beautiful stuff that I couldn't name if my life depended on it.

I look around for another fifteen minutes or so when Five comes down the stairs, Klaus trailing behind him. I grin widely as I see him, in all his high (and probably drunk, too) glory.

"Who's the...creepy girl?" he says, and I can't stop the squeal that escapes me at him acknowledging me.

"Sorry, you're my favorite character, I just can't help but fangirl over you," I tell him, still examining his face to make sure he's real.

"You didn't act like that when you met me," Five grumbles.

"Yeah, 'cause you're always a grumpy old grandpa," I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Hey, I like her," Klaus comes over and drapes an arm over my shoulder. "Now I have an army of children. Onwards!" he points forwards.

"Teenagers," I correct at the same time Five growls, "I am not a child."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever tickles your pickle," he waves his hands, "Now! We have somewhere to be, if I recall, and you, Five, have something you owe me. Excuse me, ma'am," the two brothers move past me towards the main entrance.

"Five!" I groan, following them, "I told you the eyeball isn't going to help, you ass."

"Never hurt to do your own research, now, did it?" Five says, walking down the steps.

"Well, I'm coming with."

"Bitch," Five mutters under his breath.

"What was that?" I say, despite having heard him clearly.

"I said you're a lovely girl," Five smiles widely at me.

"Oh, Five!" I bring a hand to my heart, pretending to be flattered.

He gets into the driver's seat, Klaus into the passenger's, and I climb into the back.

"Hey, should the kid really be driving?" I say.

"Well, I ain't gonna let the junkie take the wheel," Five snaps. "You're not even older than my body, don't act so high and mighty around me."

"I am sixteen, thank you very much," I sniff. "Hey, is Ben here?"

"How does the freaky girl know about..." Klaus trails off, "Yeah, he's here. Say hi, Ben."

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Five mutters something that ends in "...two crackheads, now." He starts the car and pulls out, and before long, we're at the big white building, and walking up the steps.