Second to None

42. cry for him*

Note: Slightly mature content ahead.

Later that evening, Ryoma didn't welcome Mayu in when she entered the hotel room. Without a word, he pressed her against the door, yanked down her underwear and took her standing up until she screamed his name. Only then did he lift her up and carry her to bed. There he stripped her bare and claimed her again until her legs shook.

Exhausted from their forceful lovemaking, Mayu drifted into a short slumber. When she woke up, Ryoma was propped up on his elbows watching her, his gaze darker than the inky skies outside.

"You're mad about something," he said after some time.

"Funny," she replied, turning on her side and away from him, "considering you're the one looking like you want to kill me."

Ryoma took her shoulders and held her tight against him. "Why did you have to be so provocative in front of my man?"

"Was I?"

"He didn't have to know that you had a fiancé or that you're getting married next year."

"But it's all true," she said. "Besides, don't you have a fiancée, too? One that you're going to marry?"

"We aren't engaged. She's only a girlfriend at this time."

"You make it sound like a girlfriend's meaningless." Met with no response, she said, "Your father likes—no, approves of her."

Letting out a low chuckle, Ryoma said, "I get it: you're jealous."

Mayu ignored this. She turned around and asked, point-blank, "When are you going to break up with her?"

"When are you going to break up with Tezuka?"

"It's not a wager," she said, "and it's not the same."

"You're saying Tezuka's more important than Sakuno."

"That's exactly what I'm saying. You barely talk to Sakuno, and when you do, you sound like you're talking down to her and you can't wait to get away from her. Tezuka and I, although not without problems, are not like that."

Ryoma released her but he had no comeback.

She took his silence as a sort of admission. "You still care about her, despite how you behave. If that's true, why the hell do you act like she's unimportant?"

He deliberated this, then said slowly, "She's a good woman."

"That's it?"

When he had no answer again, Mayu couldn't help but release an ironic laugh. "This can't be true—the world-renowned Samurai Junior chose his girlfriend based on niceness!"

He glared at her. "Don't make assumptions if you don't understand."

"Don't I?" she retorted. "She's always treated you as an idol, hasn't she? She's never denied you of anything either, has she? Is that what 'good' means to you?"

"That has nothing to do with it—"

"Can you deny the fact that she hung around the tennis club back in Seigaku, tried to learn English and tennis, and even joined the tennis association to be near you?" 

Even though Ryoma's expressions showed increasing tension, Mayu continued without a pause, "Admit it—you're with her because she caters to you, worships you and is willing to let her whole world revolve around you. If not flattered, you were at least touched by her efforts enough to be with her, even though you might have nothing in common. You're with her because she's accommodating, because you can be in a relationship and still do whatever you please—"

"Why are you sitting on a moral high horse when you're doing the same thing?!" Ryoma finally snapped, anger flashing in his eyes. "Didn't you move back to Japan for Tezuka? Your sacrifice is greater than Sakuno's because you forfeit a shining career and your potential for a man!"

"Don't compare my choices with yours because it isn't the same—"

"Why? Because you love him, and I don't love Sakuno?" Without receiving an immediate response, he sneered. "If you love him so much, then why are you here with me?"

A dull wheeze escaped Mayu. She stared hard at Ryoma, yet the smugness on his face never lessened even though her lips quivered and her shoulders shook. Realizing there were no signs of an apology, she threw off the covers and hastily got dressed. In this flurry of movements, Ryoma didn't move, didn't try to stop her—not when she gathered her things and not when she opened the door.

Out on the streets, a cold, early spring rain was falling. Without a jacket or an umbrella, Mayu was soaked within minutes. Northern winds and dampness brought on a chill that seemed to cut into her bones. Weaving past shuttered shops on a Monday evening, she wondered what the hell she was doing and who she had become. The more she thought about her past actions, the more mixed up her head became. Somewhere along the road, she'd become abominable enough to not only justify, but also compare wrongs.

She had no gauge of how long she'd walked when the three-story apartment came into view. The rain drizzling on, she stood in the hazy darkness and looked up at the third floor—the home she and Tezuka were supposedly building.

"Mayu?"

Tezuka's face breaking into her fogging vision, Mayu took a few breaths and pushed her hair out of her eyes.

Noticing she was drenched through, he removed his jacket and wrapped it around her. Pulling the zipper all the way up to her chin, he said with a frown, "You'll catch a cold like this. What happened?"

"I forgot my umbrella at work," she fibbed. "I'm sorry."

"Never mind that. Let's get you inside first."

She nodded and let him usher her upstairs. Back at home, the surge of warm air suddenly made her head spin. When Tezuka saw Mayu wobble, he steadied her with one hand and helped her unzip the jacket with the other. Before she could take off her shoes, Tezuka had already knelt down.

"Let me do it," he said.

She watched him remove her boots without a word then let him hang up her jacket to dry. When he turned around, he said, "I should get you a towel. Do you want me to run you a hot bath, too?"

She shook her head.

Brushing wet hair out of her eyes, he said quietly, "I heard Echizen Nanjiro showed up to see the national team. How did that go?"

"It went fine. He was a hit."

"Did anything else happen?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

He watched her closely. "You seem a little off."

"I said I'm fine!" Against the pattering rain, Mayu realized how shrill her voice sounded and sighed, "I'm sorry. It's been a long day and I'm exhausted."

Tezuka was silent for a minute. "There's no need to hold back. If something's bothering you—or if it's something I did—it's better to let it out."

She wanted to say it had nothing to do with him, but tears streamed down her face instead. Without asking any more questions, Tezuka pulled Mayu into his arms. She felt him gently stroking her hair and sobbed even harder. There was no way she could stop the tears now. Here she was, nestled in her fiancé's arm, crying for another man.

***

a/n: I can't help but cringe slightly here because I feel like I've gotten too graphic with Ryoma. But! I have to do what I have to do to bring the story to a breaking point. 

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