36. lover

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Just like that rainy night in Baden-Baden, a summer storm swallowed the city when Mayu awoke. Windows were fogged over, blurring distant sceneries and spasmodic blinks from the Tokyo Tower.

The other side of the bed was cool and Ryoma was not at her side. She got up, covered herself in the darkness and sat at the edge of the bed, thinking about what had happened and what it meant. No matter how hard she tried, her thoughts couldn't focus. All that occupied her mind were scenes of her setting foot into this apartment and later, getting swept up into this bedroom.

Mayu didn't know sex could feel this heavenly. Although Tezuka had been an attentive lover and she enjoyed being with him, their sex life had always been vanilla—bland and reserved. When they were younger, being carefully intimate with each had felt novel and romantic. Over time, it had dulled and become routine—something they did because they knew it was required of a long-term relationship.

Faced with Ryoma, however, desire overtook her. If she were perfectly honest, she had fantasized about getting into bed with him many times. She thought about how great it would feel to be with a man who had no reservations, who said what was on his mind with absolute confidence and who wasn't worried about being delicate with her. And that all turned out to be true. He was an excellent lover, one that she physically called out for even though they were in no position to be romantically involved with each other.

While she sat there, she heard the front door open. There were rustlings in the kitchen followed by footsteps coming down the hall.

"Good, you're awake," said Ryoma with a grin. He hugged her from behind and kissed the back of her neck. "Hope you didn't miss me too much while I was gone."

She tried to shrug him off. "I've got to get home."

"It's only seven. Have dinner before you leave."

"I shouldn't. I've stayed here long enough and..."

"She doesn't have the keys."

"Huh?"

"Sakuno. She doesn't have the keys to this place, if that's why you're in such a hurry to leave."

"Why doesn't she?"

"I told you, we aren't living together yet, so why should I give her the keys?"

Something about his words bothered her. Before she could pinpoint what it was, he kissed her earlobe and said, "You'd better get dressed quickly, or else that dinner will have to sit there for a while."

Hearing this, she squirmed out of his hold and Ryoma gave her one of his shirts. When she came out in a baggy white t-shirt and a pair of underwear, he smiled crookedly and said, "I could get used to seeing you like this. It's much better than what you normally wear."

Mayu reddened. In the dining room, she found a spread of different kinds of pasta, buttered calamari, veal Parmesan, tossed green salad and fresh bread. On the edge of the table sat a dozen pink roses.

"You went and got all this?" she asked with a hint of surprise.

"Of course." He picked up the roses and handed them to her with both hands. "Ideally, I'd like to take you for dinner at that fancy Italian restaurant around the corner. This is the best I can do on short notice."

She accepted the flowers and took a sniff. "Roses are my favourite. How did you know?"

"Killer intuition, that's what."

He pulled out a chair for her and insisted on setting up the table while she sat. Ryoma didn't drink so they settled with iced water. He sat next to her while they ate, their feet and legs touching. He gave her the lobster tail in the seafood pasta, picked out the plumpest ravioli and helped butter her bread. Starved, Mayu didn't object as he piled her plate with food. It had been a while since she'd last eaten Italian food and it was the best outside of Europe she'd ever tasted.

"Looks like Azabu restaurants pass your standards," remarked Ryoma as he watched her pry open a mussel.

"Hasn't disappointed yet. They must have excellent chefs."

"And you have expensive tastes."

She shrugged. "I can't help it. I'm French, eating good food is in my blood."

He smiled widely and kissed the corner of her mouth. "Good thing I can afford it just fine."

After dinner, they took a bath together and made love again in the tub. Clean and dry in her fluffy bathrobe, weariness began to overtake Mayu.

As they lay side-by-side on Ryoma's bed, he asked, "Why don't you stay the night?"

"I don't know if I can sleep next to you," she murmured.

"Funny. I think I slept better next to you."

She turned to look at him. "You aren't worried?"

"What's the point of worrying about something that's already done?"

He had a point there. Yet she couldn't help but wonder if he really had any deep feelings for Sakuno or was capable of having them for anyone if he so readily slept with her without trepidation.

"But you're worried," he observed, brushing a tuft of hair out of her eyes.

She stared at the ceiling. "I can't believe I did this to Tezuka."

"I'm not going to pretend I understand what you're feeling. While I'm not proud of what I just did to him, I can't help feeling what I feel. And I'm sure it's the same for you."

"What is it that you feel?"

"That I want you, and we both don't want to be here."

"Were you serious when you said you wanted to go back to the U.S.?"

"Of course. I've been thinking about it on and off for some time. Seeing you at the association helped me make up my mind because I realize I'm more cut out for overseas than here."

She nodded. Those must be the feeling stirring in the back of her mind when they saw each other again, except, she had been too busy convincing herself otherwise back then.

"You being here makes me happy, that's all I want to think about right now," he said, touching her face. "Can the troubles of the world wait until tomorrow?"

She looked into his eyes and he into hers. "Yes," she said, leaning into him, "let it all wait until tomorrow."

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