Like Real People Do

9. No Children

TW: Substance Abuse (Alcoholism)

And I hope I never get sober. I hope when you think of me years down the line you can't find one good thing to say. And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way. -The Mountain Goats

Saturday, May 8th

In the time that Shane knew her, Natalie never had a reputation for being gentle. She was driven, smart, beautiful, and tough, but she was also blunt and analytical. Not that she was ever unkind, but she didn't tend to sugar-coat things. Natalie was not a fan of wasted words, even if they softened an otherwise fatal blow. Before he really knew her, Shane was fooled by the softness in those brown doe eyes. Natalie was a spitfire and took no shit from anyone. It was one of the reasons why he liked her- there was no room for more nonsense in his life. It was truly a wonder that she put up with him for as long as he did, and no surprise the phone calls never stopped coming.

Shane didn't know what she wanted from him. Natalie took everything he had left with her out the door the night she disappeared for good. She called Monday before work. She called Tuesday after work. She texted him again on Wednesday, then went back to calling on Thursday and Friday. By now, it was clear to Shane that she had no intention of letting up until she got what she came for. Answering the phone might have been easier if he knew what waited on the other end of it, but as of now all he could do was watch it ring in abject horror. He would have done anything to make it stop except for answering it.

He ignored the calls, he ignored the text, what would it take for her to realize that she hadn't been welcome in his head since the day she excused herself from it for good? Every memory of her had rotted in his brain, and he couldn't stand the stench of it anymore. He paced back and forth, flask in hand wondering why she hadn't gone to voicemail yet. The high-pitched, generic ringtone pierced his ears and overwhelmed his senses, so he finally answered out of desperation to make it stop. With the phone pressed against the side of his face, Shane took another shaky sip from his flask and said nothing.

"...Hello?" It was unmistakably Natalie. Shane hadn't heard her voice in five years, but it was just as cold as he remembered. "Shane? Are you there?" He took a breath in, gripping the phone even tighter. This was a mistake, even with the whiskey that pumped in his veins. Why had he answered her at all? Why did he bother putting either of them through this? Why didn't he just block her fucking number after the first time she called and be done with it?

"Yeah," he said through gritted teeth.

"How have you been?" Natalie asked after a long pause.

"Fine." Shane wasn't interested in the pleasantries. She'd been calling him relentlessly for weeks, and now taunted him with small talk the second he set foot into her glue trap.

"That's good." She hesitated. "I've been well too."

"Good for you." There was no warmth in his words. He didn't have any ill will towards her, but Shane couldn'tcare less how her life had been going. All he knew is that she was no longer apart of his.

"How's Jas?" Shane bristled at the question.

"Don't ask me about Jas." If she was trying to elicit an emotional response from him, she had picked the right thing to ask about. Shane wasn't the only one that Natalie left behind. When she packed up all the pieces of her life to run, they didn't include her daughter. Shane could understand why someone would want to run from him, but Jas? Jas was the morning sun after an endless night. As much as he failed her, Shane loved his daughter with his whole heart. Jas's name didn't belong in Natalie's mouth after all this time. She had no right to ask about her after what she'd done.