FIRE AND GOLD ▸ JOHN MURPHY (editing)

four; rescue services

"Hurry up, Murphy," Bellamy says and I roll my eyes.

"Hestia, be careful," Clark tells me and I wink at her when she calls me making her roll her eyes.

We suddenly hear a noise coming from the bushes behind us.

"Grounders?" Bellamy asks unsure.

Up from the tree, I can catch the glance of what should be a black panther, but the animal looks off.

"Bellamy, gun!" Clark says but when he goes to get her, nothing.

I hear gunshots and look at Wells, who's with Bellamy's gun, only hitting the animal once, in the leg.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," I mutter when I notice that Bellamy's trapped and that Well's out of bullets.

The animal jumps towards Bellamy but fails, due to the wound on its leg.

When my parents were alive, my father would tell me stories about the animals on earth. I knew them all. They used to say that if Earth was still a thing, I would have been a vet. Weird how a kid that dreamed of healing animals, end up killing humans.

I get off the tree motioning to Finn end up cutting the rope and walk towards the animal. I take Bellamy's knife from his hand and stuck it into the animal's neck, ending his suffering.

"I'm sorry," I mutter, not loud enough for anyone to hear. "We have dinner," I say getting up and fixing my posture, handling Bellamy his knife.

Everyone's looking at me with weird looks on their faces.

"Don't look so surprised I'm not that much of a bitch." I snap at them walking to somewhere I'm needed.

Wells stops looking at me and goes to grab Jasper's legs to help them bring him down.

As soon as Jasper's on the ground, Wells and Finn carry him to the dropship, while Murphy and Bellamy carry the animal. I would do it but I like to see the men doing all the work for once.

Clark's freaking out over Jasper's condition while I go on the back, doing my best not to look at the dead animal in front of me.

We arrive, Jasper's taken to the dropship while the animal is taken to the fire.

I can't be with any of them right now, so I walk to the place I had found. I lay on the fallen tree as I look at the sky, finding the constellations. My mother used to tell me about them. She said if she died she would find a star and that she would look upon me. I'm hoping that the star her soul chooses is unable to see me here. Cause if she sees me, she hates me. All I did. All I'm cable of doing.

I feel tears falling down my face, something I haven't felt in a long time. I wanna scream, but I can't. For the first time, I let my feelings sink in, the feelings that have been here since they died. I lost them in a week. I was seven, I couldn't deal with it. I never had time to mourn them. When I notice I was living with the neighbors. With a family who would treat me like shit.

I spent these ten years thinking about what I would do if I was free, and now that I am, I don't know what to do. No one ever told me what to do.

Before I notice I see someone on my side. I look and I see Clark making me clean my tears and look away, unable to keep them from falling.

"I was looking for you." She says sitting on the other fallen tree.

"How did you know I was here?" I ask between sobs.

"Murphy told me you might be here," Clark replies getting up and sits on my side. "He likes you."

"It's been three days, he doesn't know me," I say not looking at her.