chapter 12 {shadows from the Past}

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tw: mention of rape

you woke up from a knock on the door. Steve walked in "how are you feeling" he asked. "I'm okay" you answered. he walked to your bed having breakfast in his hands "you like pancakes?" he asked smiling at you. "I can't remember having them before, I guess we'll have to find out" you said smiling back at him. Steve came sitting next to you on your bed, giving you a kiss on your forehead. "I had fun last night" he said blushing a little. "me too" you said back remembering how he kissed you yesterday. "you aren't mad i lied" you asked him, wanting to make sure he was okay with it. "no of course not, you just wanted to protect me, I understand" he said holding a fork with a piece of pancake on it before your mouth. you opened your mouth and ate the pancake off the fork, your eyes grew wide. "oh my god, this taste so fucking good" you almost scream out. "language!" Steve said laughing at you, he loved seeing you so excited about the most normal things. he grabbed your chin to make you look at him and kissed you. "would you like to go on a date with me today" he asked when he let go of you. "yes" you said blushing.

you both finished eating breakfast, Steve left your room so you could get ready. You turned on the shower and striped out of your pj's, taking a look at yourself in the mirror. you looked at your body, Elliot's words echoing thru your mind 'who could love a broken girl'. he was right you thought to yourself when you stepped into the shower letting your tears mix with the water. after 30 minutes in the shower you picked yourself up. you're not that broken girl anymore, you thought to yourself. you got dressed, you wore a black dress which fell just above your knees. you put your hair up in a ponytail and put on some light make-up. you checked yourself in the mirror. 

where is the broken girl now huh, you thought with some new found confidence

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where is the broken girl now huh, you thought with some new found confidence.

you walked out of your room, walking towards the kitchen. "what are you up to" Natasha asked you as you walked into the kitchen. "this pretty girl is going on a date with me" Steve said as he walked in. "you look beautiful y/n" he said. you just blushed feeling a bit nervous. "shall we go" Steve said sticking his hand out for you to take. you took his hand and walked with him "have fun lovebirds" you heard Natasha yell behind you, which made you smile to yourself, she was such a good friend. "where are we going?" you asked Steve. "you'll see" he answered smiling at you. he opened the car door for you, you stepped into the car and Steve began to drive. it's been a while since you last sat in a car, your mind immediately started to go back to the day your mom died. Steve noticed you getting a little tense and grabbed your hand "don't worry, nothing bad is going to happen" he said calming you down a bit not letting go of your hand. what did this man see in you, you thought looking up at him.

after a few more minutes of driving Steve stopped the car. "we're here" he said smiling at you. you looked around you and you saw the beach. you stepped out of the car exited. Steve grabbed a bag out of the car trunk and you walked hand in hand toward the beach. Steve had found the most beautiful part of the beach, with big rocks surrounding it, giving you a bit of privacy. "it's so beautiful here" you said looking around. "yes it is" Steve said only having eyes for you. Steve opened up his bag and took out a blanket and some snacks. he sat down on the blanket and he taped the blanket inviting you to come sit with him. you sat down next to him as you talked about all sorts of things, things you wanted to do and you talked about your lives, well the parts you could remember. you discovered your youths were vastly different which wasn't that weird since he literally spend his youth in the 1930's and you in the 1990's. you just enjoyed each other's company. you looked at Steve as the sun began to set, you sat closer to him almost sitting on his lap leaning into him as he kissed you. "you're amazing y/n" he said looking deep into your eyes. "you're amazing too" you said back smiling. it started to get colder and Steve gave you his jacked, like the old school man he was. "we should probably head back" he said looking at you. "I don't want to go back yet" you said as you snuggled up close to him. "that makes 2 of us, but it's starting to get dark, I don't want the others to worry about us". "I don't want this date to be over" you said a little sad that you had to get back. "who said the date would be over" he said grinning at you as he picked you up and walked you back to the car.

when you got back at the avengers HQ you immediately went up to Steve's room together. "which movie do you wanna watch" he asked you as you both laid on his bed, his arm around you. "I don't know, you can pick one" you said to Steve "okay" he said as he put a cheesy romcom on. you were 15 minutes in as Steve kissed you. he slowly got on top of you and bit your lip softly. it quickly turned into a hot make out session, your tongues fighting for dominance. you could feel his erection grow. Steve left your lips for a moment to pull your shirt over your head and removed his own shirt. you admired his abs your hands roaming over his body, he looked so fucking hot. you unbuckled his belt and zipped open his pants, in one swift movement he removed his pants. you saw his erection through his boxers. "fuck" you said whispering under your breath. "language" he said smiling at you making you giggle. Steve's lips crashed on your again while he tried to get your jeans off of you. he slowly slid your pants down and threw them on the ground. he stopped kissing you for a moment, just admiring your body. "you look so pretty" he said as his eyes traveled over your body. "you're not looking so bad yourself" you joked. Steve started to leave kisses in your neck, he slowly kissed lower to your cleavage. he removed your bra and began kissing you around your nipples teasing you. his hand massaging your other boob as he finally kissed you nipple making you let out a small moan. he kissed you further down your body, he slowly removed your panties. he then kissed you on your mouth again as he slowly started rubbing your clit.

 he then kissed you on your mouth again as he slowly started rubbing your clit

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 you just enjoyed his touch. but your mind wouldn't calm down and went back to that one memory "stop!" you screamed. Steve immediately stopped and looked at you worried. "did i do something wrong, or are we moving too fast, we can take it slow if you want" he asked. "no" you said "it's nothing never mind". "do you want to continue?" Steve asked you. "yes" you answered as you pulled him closer to you kissing him deeply. Steve's hand traveled down your body again, finding your clit again. "already so wet for me" he said making you even hornyer. he's lips moved to your neck, definitely leaving marks. you felt 2 fingers slide into you slowly, it felt nice but your mind wouldn't calm down. "I can't ,stop" you said to Steve. Steve stopped and you sat up in bed. tears streamed down your face as memory's came back to you. "hey what's wrong" Steve asked you worried sitting up too hugging you tightly. "I'm sorry, I can't" you said crying. "it's okay" Steve said to you placing a kiss on your forehead calming you down. you just sat there crying while Steve rubbed your back, not sure of what was going on that made you so upset. "they, uhh" you began, finding the right words to tell Steve. "they.. raped me" the words came out before you realized. "they WHAT!" Steve said a bit angry but then holding you close to him again. "I'm sorry" you whispered to Steve. "don't be sorry" Steve said softly "we can take it slow" he said hugging you tightly. Elliot's words racing through your mind again 'who could love a broken girl'.

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