The Worst Drug

•Starting Fresh•

{•Unedited•}

~Idris's POV~

I wake this morning to an empty bed, Vina's side cold letting me know she's been up for a while. My hands rub down my face, eyes burning with exhaustion. Neither of us slept good, which is to be highly expected in our situation. Both us took took turns waking up to check her heart monitor, making sure everything was okay and she was still healthy, and to feed and change her.
Her cries are the most heart breaking sounds I've ever heard. The clear tears that stream down her face make me want to rid of anything in the world that could ever cause her anymore. All three of my girls have me wrapped around their fingers, their every wish my command. Cass gets my love too obviously, I'm just not sure how to show it with him as I do with them. The girls I'll give kisses to and play with, him...he seems like he could care less about me. Part of me worries that's because of how we met. After all he did see me kill his dad.
Pushing myself up I look towards the door seeing it's cracked open. Short legs walk across the hall showing me the kids are awake. Reaching for my phone I turn it on to see the time. It's only eight thirty, and for a weekend, that's early for the kids.
     Grabbing my phone I have no missed messages or calls from Sin or anyone at all for that matter which is surprising looking at how chaotic everything has been. The only notification an email from Melissa who've been in contact with about finding a new house. Ive been looking for something specific, something I can't go to just anyone for and knows how to combine Vina and mines completely different styles and needs. Off and on the last two days she's been sending me links and pictures of houses around the area, some a little further of of town. I would love to move cities, start fresh somewhere but I know Vina won't leave too far from her family which I understand. Plus, I think I'd have some separation problems from them too.
    "You're up," Vina says as she walks into the room, robe tied tightly around her waist. Tossing the blanket off I swing my legs off the bed, combing my tangled hair back with my fingers. "Zavi's been asleep for about thirty minutes now, should be waking up soon to eat. Cass and Ez are getting ready for the day," she tells me.
    "Look at you. Super mom, having everything under control." She doesn't say anything, rocking back and forth on her feet. I know I don't look good, there's no way I can with how much sleep I got, but she, as beautiful as she is, looks like a corpse. Which doesn't help me after having that horrific dream last night. After she woke me up from it I didn't let her go until Zavi started crying about an hour later. I could never tell if she was fully asleep, never staying still like she normally does. It seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me as I tried cuddling her, moving her head on and off my chest, as well as her leg. "How much did you sleep?"
    "Enough," she answers, opening the dresser. I sit back on the bed, watching her rummage through her undergarment drawer. Messy curls fall out of her bun, not long enough to be held back with the elastic band.
    "Don't bother getting dressed. Lay down and get more sleep. I can handle everything I'm sure," I try telling her. She shakes her head as I speak. I know her sleeping will throw her off more than she already is. Usually she has a schedule and stays very strict about staying to it, now we're on an infants schedule. And not to mention she'll go for hours unrested, not sleeping until someone tells her to lay down or reminds her of the need of sleep.
    "I'm fine-"
    "You'll make yourself sick. I'll let you get ready but you're laying back down," I tell her, knowing I have to lay down the line in an authoritative tone for her to understand my seriousness. Her shoulders slump in defeat knowing I'm not going to let it go. "Just do me a favor and make a bottle or two beforehand cause I don't want to try and give her some kind to...formula poisoning."
    "She ate before I laid her down so she'll need to be changed when she wakes up," she tells me, picking her clothes from the closet. I'm surprised when she takes out a dress, typically not being something she's choose. Personally I love her in dresses, for obvious reasons, but I understand she struggles with the feeling of being in one. Instead of going to the bathroom she sets the pile of clothes on the dresser top, legging her robe fall from her shoulders to a pool around her feet.
   Lifting the hem of her nightgown from her body she lifts it over her hair, the hair tie finally snapping apart. My body immediately reacts to her naked flesh, salivating like a hungry cartoon. If it weren't for the fact that the kids are awake and she looks like she'd fall asleep in the middle of it I'd be all over her. Her round thighs and butt jiggle as she gets into her underwear.
    Standing from the bed I make my way behind her, my arms wrapping around to the front of her body. She leans against me, tilting her head back. My calluses palms go up her stomach, palming her large mounds in them roughly. Kneeding them she lets out a hum of pleasure, eyes fluttering closed. Her nipples harden reacting to my touch, the sensitive buds slipping between my fingers. Rolling them between my thumbs and index fingers she lets out a quiet moan.
     She lets out an aggravated breath, straightening up from her leant position against me. My hands fall from her chest, turning her around to face me. I try keeping my eyes face level, but they don't listen and keep moving further down.
   "We can't do anything with the kids awake," she tells me. My lips tug to the side in a teasing smirk.
   "I wasn't doing anything but trying to massage you. You're the one trying to get freaky with it." Smacking her butt she jumps against me trying to flinch away. Glaring up at me she spins around on her heel picking up her bra. "I want to talk to you about something but I understand if you don't want to deal with for a while."
"What is it?" She asks, turning her head to look at me anxiously. Her white bra pushes her breasts together, drawing more attention to her cleavage. Lord help me.
"I've been talking with Valentino's wife, Melissa, for a few weeks about finding a house. After we came back from the place we stayed at for our vacation, I thought we could use a bigger space, especially with the kids growing up," I tell her, hoping she doesn't get upset I've started this on my own. She doesn't seem like the kind of person to be mad at me but you never know with this one. No expression crosses her face letting me know what she's thinking or feeling. "She emailed me this morning about a house she was telling me about. It's about twenty minutes out of town, a lot of space, open land around it...I thought it was something we'd both like. She said in the message that if we want, we can come by any time to see it in person...that is if you want."
     Her lips open and close trying to figure out her thoughts. I shouldn't have sprung it on her but with all that's been going on, bringing it up has been the last thing on my mind.
    "That would be a great idea actually," she says after a few long seconds. My brows raise in surprise. The door opens just as Vina pulls down the skirt of her dress, Cass walking in with her phone in hand. Her moms name pops up on the top of the screen. From the hall, Zavi starts crying in her nursery. I gesture out of the room with my thumb letting Vina know I'm going to handle it, mouthing to lay down and pointing at the bed before turning the corner.
    ••••••
                               ~Vina's POV~