The Worst Drug

~Homecoming~

                 {~Half Edited~}
                         ~Idris's POV~

             The month and a half has been harder on myself and the family than I've let myself take in to realize. Looking at them all in the living room right now getting ready to go to the hospital to pick up Zavi I feel to sick to my stomach. I wish it was from nervous joy, but it's the furthest from. Bringing her home I have another head to watch over. Up until now it's all been from a bird eyes view, having her in the hospital full of people with security at all times meant she was monitored on camera, here at home she's safer with me but that constant eye is gone.
    After Vina and I returned from our short get away real life quickly caught up to us again as if it had even left us alone. The first night home I got a call from Enzo saying Sin's mansion had been broken into, the hallways trashed and his office door almost broke off the hinges from trying to break it open. It was no question who did it, it was the Marbelo's. Their reasoning for being so messy with it, however, was the mystery.
     Victor has been off his hinges since his wife was abducted, hardly sleeping and losing a scary amount of weight that even I, a past druggie, was mindful of. I never worked around him much but whenever our paths crossed he was chill and upbeat, now it's like talking to an anxious mad man. None of us wanted to say anything about it until it started affecting his work, his emotions getting in the way of his judgement. His anger is too much for him to handle, the loneliness and sadness probably buried underneath it, being hands in trying to find her is leading him to his breaking point.
     Every night I find myself throwing myself into those shoes. Getting little to no sleep, when I do it's a horror film behind my eyelids. It began the first time with Zavi, watching them abuse her, then Ez, a horrific scene of her death, hearing her scream for me for help but my feet rooted to the ground. Each day of the week, a different person I love I watch get abused or killed.
    A few other guys have put in claims of their significant others and family members having the unsettling sensation of being watched. Valentino hasn't left Melissa's side since she thought there was someone in the house while she was waiting for him to get home three weeks ago. He's been working out of his home office, considering returning to Italy for the safety for of his wife and coming back on his own.
We're all on edge, unsure when the ball is in our park. The game they have us playing remains unknown, our team oblivious to the directions or where the starting and finish line reside.
I've thrown myself into this because of the determination rooted from fear and protectiveness. What the last month and a half has showed me is the true trepidation I have over anything harming or coming towards my family. With my life I'd protect them, push myself to limits I didn't think I could take myself. The amount of hours of sleep I've had within the last month and a half I could count on my two fingers...but don't tell Vina that.
My love, what I would to keep a worry from retaining any space inside that already crazed mind of hers. Lying to her isn't easy but thankfully she can't exactly tell when I do, and I don't like using that against her however I've needed to recently. She knows I don't sleep well, I can't keep that from her, however the reasoning is kept secret that she constantly tries prying from me. I hate keeping her in the dark, but I thank god she doesn't ask too many questions.
When she's sleeping is when I get the majority my own work done. Constantly looking into the Marbelo's track record and history, trying to find anyone who may know anything or have any past with them. It's on the agenda for the next week to take a drive with Enzo and Curtis out of town to get ahold of a woman named Monica Soona, who we're assuming is mothering one of the sick bastards children.
"Are you ready to go?" Vina asks, breaking me out of my thoughts. Ez stands up from her knee, carmel colored curles bouncing around her shoulders. She's been begging to cut but we refuse to let it happen just yet. Aria had mentioned she'd never had a hair cut, explaining why it's so long and healthy. Now with Vina's influence cutting her hair and being around Nanny's Lord Farquaad looking ass, she wants to follow in suit. Not happening.
     "Yeah," I say. Cass opens the door on the way out, blushing his dark hair back. The more he lets it grow surprisingly the more it stops to curl, maybe it's because of the new product or age. "Excited to finally meet your new sister?" I ask, twisting the lock. His eyes dart to the side, cheeks flushing bright pink. Confusion waves over me, oblivious to my use of words.
    "She's my sister too?" He asks, voice sounding off somewhere else.   
    "I-You call me dad and Ez your sister and you're staying with us, so...yeah, she's your sister too. That is if you want that," I explain to him, trying to make sure he doesn't feel any pressure. In my eyes this boy is my son no matter how he came into our lives, he's shown me fatherly responsibility and purpose. The man before me was simply the donor, undeserving of the wonderful child he had. I don't regret taking him out.
    "And Vina's my mom?" He asks, looking at where she stands making sure Ez has her seatbelt on tight. The conversation feels repetitive but I have no problem reminding him. The outside of his cheek moves, eyes dropping to the ground.
    "You guys okay?" She calls over, closing the door. He jogs around the car to the backseat, the slamming of the door making Vina jump. I stop in front of her, resting my hands in her small shoulders. My fingers rub into her tense muscles, right knots under my fingers. She's been doing a lot since having Zavi. She returned to work after we came back from the trip and the office is low on staff so they have her working from home some times when she's off. It doesn't seem to bother her much, but on top of taking care of Ez and Cass on top of that I can imagine it becomes a weight.    
     Thinking about it now, there hasn't been much communication between us, however, neither of us have mentioned it. She's either like me and is short on noticing or thinks mentioning it will pick a fight. We've both been overwhelmed and have a lot on our minds with work and family, we've forgotten to catch up with each other personally and I can't let us return where we were before.
   "How you doing, baby?" I ask, twisting the ends of her short hair between my fingers. She sighs, taking a small step back.
   "I'm tired and worried," she says, shaking her hands out. She's been restless, but rested still none the least. "What if I'm bad at this?"
    "You've already been doing it for awhile now," I tell her, gesturing to the kids in the car. She's the best mother in the world to them. Her shaky palms rub against her thighs, chest rising and falling rapidly. I knew her panic would show eventually when the kids weren't around, just not this last minute.
    "That's not the same thing. This is a baby baby...with heart and breathing issues. We've been waiting for this but now that it's coming...I-I don't feel ready. What if I can't handle it-"
    Our fingers slip between the others, hers short and soft against mine. They're clammy but I don't mind, figuring mine probably aren't much better at the moment. Tugging her, she stumbles to my chest.
   "You can handle anything, you've shown yourself that so many times, baby girl," I tell her, my hands rubbing up her arms to the side of her neck. Making her look at me, of course I don't expect her to look me in the eye, but tears  cascade a glassy veil over her eyes looking at my lips. "I've got you whenever you feel like you can't. We have each other to lean on and learn with. I'm not a professional either if you're forgetting," I say with a laugh.
     "I'm a better learner too," she mutters. My brows tug together in offense. She's not wrong though.
•••••••
~Vina's POV~