Our love is too Black and White

Chapter 5

The smell of roses stirred through the oceanic cold winds. I felt a sudden shudder electrify me in a hot flash, my insides churned and my mind perplexed. I had a miscellaneous feeling, a feeling that was subdivided into categories that I have never touched upon in my frail existence. Was it love? Or was it just pure confusion of the situation I was in. I couldn’t help but think of Kristian, or whatever his name may be. He was beautiful, provided me with a comfort that no other can ever provide for me. I was safe around him and not to mention I felt loved.

“He is like no other, like I just want to be around him all the time and I can’t get enough of him. My life is so empty without his presence, is this obsession?” I asked, curling my lip and staring at my best friend with anticipation – she simply stared at me, thinking I have lost my mind.

“Is he even right for you?” was her response, she was so nonchalant. She wouldn’t understand my predicament. Alicia drove to Saint Juan to see me again, missing our daily conversations about nothing and the comfortable silence that would fill the air whenever we watched a movie together.  Even though she half-heartedly paid attention to my pathetic issue she completely – well hopefully, understood where I was coming from.

“Yeah, well no... It’s complicated” I sighed out loud, inwardly smiling at how dangerous this is for me to reveal the truth about my beloved crush. I look up to see Alicia with her hair swaying beautifully to the side and her left eyebrow rose up almost touching the wrinkle created by her fascination.

“Complicated?” she put the nail file down and shifted closer to me “how complicated is this?” Alicia was polluted with all sorts of thoughts; maybe she thought he was a bad boy or a criminal that held a forbidden past. Whatever it was being ivory skinned wasn’t one of them.

“You see how the sand compliments the waters so delightfully?” I looked at her pointing at the view in front of us, she nodded slowly becoming baffled; I continued “the sand and the waters have nothing in common, the sand is just minuscule grains that have gathered together to create a yellow material and the waters, a chemical compound in which I won’t go into too much detail in-“

“What has this got to do with anything?” Alicia interjected; feeling like what I’m saying has no relevance to what I’m really coming to, “this isn’t a fricken science lesson, I mean I get enough science from the pot bellied teacher Mr. Collins!” out of frustration Alicia kicked a purple Ribena carton that seemed to have annoyed her vision of the stony pavement.

“Okay, what I mean is things come together like the sand and the water... some things just look good together but they have nothing in common and seen as irrelevant to some people, for example you, but I’m in love with someone, well... I wouldn’t say love but I really like someone who I shouldn’t like” I quickly said, hoping Alicia would see where I’m coming from.

“Oh I haven’t realized you like someone Ashanti!” she sarcastically whispered, she was tired of my long explanation and just wanted me to cough up what really was happening.

Arm in arm we strolled together through the narrow beach pathway, closely paying attention to the beauty around us. Everything seemed fresh, everything seemed revived and I could only long for the warm summer nights to arrive so I could touch the soft red roses that blossomed ever so admiringly. Alicia had lost her patience and I was thankful she did because this means she isn’t interested anymore and I was too ashamed to reveal the truth, it was bad I was ashamed. I shouldn’t be but it’s like that when you are forced to abide to the rules of your ancestors.

“Ashanti!” Alicia and I looked back to answer the call, it was Jerome.

“Is it him?” Alicia nudged me excitedly, I gulped and nodded sheepishly.