Romancing Dominance [BL][COMPLETED]

chapter 22 | romancing dominance

I have fights that I am uncertain of fighting the battle.

This fight I am meaning to go to is not even a battle, to begin with.

There's no competition since I know I won't be able to win this.

I thought I was home.

Akala ko na sa wakas nasa isang lugar na ako kung saan pwedeng-pwede maging ako-a place I can call mine and home.

I was a fool.

Isa akong malaking tanga para maniwala sa mga bagay-bagay na alam kong hinding-hindi ko mararanasan.

I become a fool to believe in all of my delusions. I fed my own delusions that led me to break.

Look at me now, anong nangyari sa akin?

Tama nga ako. I do not belong in this place.

Bakit ko ba kasi pinagsiksikan ang sarili sa lugar na'to. Aside from pain and exhaustion, I only feel regret.

Pinagsisihan ko ang pumunta sa lugar na'to.

"Ano ba ang nagawa ko sa inyo? Why are you doing this to me?" I screamed to the top of my lungs.

The rain is pouring hard down on me but my tears remain solid in the break of my downfall.

"Mga wala kayong awa! Mga wala kayong awa..." I can't see anything but fields.

This is Maraya, a supposedly home but look at me now, this place haunts me.

"I hate all of you!"

Galit na galit ako sa lahat.

I was lied to. I was kept in secret.

God, ang inakala kong pagmamahal ay hindi pala sa akin. I was played. Pinaglaruan nila akong lahat.

"Jakob..." I cried so hard that I was afraid of my own cries.

I never cried this hard all my life.

This is beyond my insecurities. This is beyond me.

Buong pagkatao ko ang pinagkaitan nila ng katotohanan.

"Jakob, I trusted you so much..." Sumugal ako dahil nangako siya.

He said he loves me. Sabi niya mahal niya ako. Sabi niya mahal niya si Miracle.

He loves me, right?

Mahal niya ako diba?

"Tell me! Somebody, please tell me! Tell me the truth!"

Naupo ako sa damuhan at nagsisigaw. Pinupukol ko ang sariling dibdib dahil sa bigat ng nararamdaman ko. I can't breathe from so much crying.

Under the heavy rain, I was stuck with no one. I called for an answer but no one seems to be hearing my plea.

Napaluhod ako sa sakit.

This kind of pain is something else.

I don't know what is. Anong klaseng sakit ito na kahit anong pigil ko sa luha ko ay wala pa ring tumitigil.

My tears are like rain droplets, it was infinite and it shows no sign of stopping falling.

Sobrang bigat ng nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Hindi ako makapaniwala.

My head refuses to believe in all of this. My heart says this is not true. My whole being is in so much shock that it refuses the whole truth.

"Anong ginawa ko sa inyo para paglaruan niyo ako ng ganito?"

Dahil ba maldita ako?

O dahil kaya kasi maarte ako?