chapter 16 | romancing dominance

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One of my greatest fears is to disappoint those people who are counting on me.

For me, losing is defeat.

As a result, I put myself on a pedestal with standards known to almost bachelor in the country.

I turned down offers and possible marriages because they did not reach my standard. And men, when their ego is bruised, they create stories to ruin you.

Elite families are at my tail. And to tell you honestly, I didn't care.

The perimeter of my freedom is close to none. Pero wala akong sinisi.

I lived up to the idea that I'm a goody-two-shoe. People at my age would beat the idea in my head na isa akong sunod-sunoran.

I guess it's true.

I am here in Maraya because I followed what Dad arranged for me.

Jakob was not wrong when he said that I was a dog, a follower, a goody-two-shoe.

I was overly confident that I am ready to face the world on my own. My fate was poorly decided but I can't blame anyone for it—I was the one who made it.

You see, I have the brain and heart at everything I do so when Dad proposed the idea of marrying the bachelor of the Buenavistas, I questioned myself internally.

I was hesitant for the first time.

Marrying the Buenavista's heir means that I'll be staying away from the comfort of the city.

Alam ko na kapag papakasalan ko ang tagapagmana ng mga Buenavista—I'll be marrying the money and business they own, not the person.

I was scared. Na-trauma ako sa mga ideya na baka hindi ako magiging masaya sa piling niya.

The idea of arranged marriage is not a happy relationship between me and the person I am marrying.

No, it simply means na isa lang kaming instrumento para sa mga magulang namin.

Travelling around the country, I made a note in my head na kailangan ito hindi dahil para sa sarili ko, kundi sa ikakabuti ng pangalan ng bawat-isa sa mga Sandoval.

Akala ko kasi madali lang.

But I lack experience.

Hindi madali ang sumulong sa isang laban na walang dalang armas.

I was so conceited at the idea that Jakob and other men are the same.

'Yung gugustuhin ako dahil sa pera namin. But JaKob is a millionaire himself. Hindi niya kailangan ng pera ko.

Akala ko pareho lang sila na gugustuhin ako dahil isa ako sa mga taong kung ituring ay dyamante dahil sa kakayahang magdalang tao, but Jakob was sincere.

He showed me someone new and different.

Jakob changed my view of men. He became the standard in my eyes.

Ginusto niya ako dahil sa kung anong kaya ko. Hindi dahil sa kung sino ako.

It still feels like a dream. Jakob courting me is surreal.

Habang mas tumatagal ay mas lumalalim ang pagtingin ko sa kaniya. And I have never been this carefree on his advances.

Every day, Jakob is showing me that he's valuable for my affection.

Araw-araw akong pinapahanga ni Jakob at hinahayaan ko lang ito dahil alam kong hindi ako sasaktan ng taong pinili ng puso ko.

I was listening to my mind ever since, but this time, I choose to listen to my heart.

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