Fade in to Blue Base in the Gulch
Church: Man, Sarge is frickin' heavy. Hey, blue guy, where'd you go, I need some help!
Shawn: Yeah, he's very heavy! Please help us!
Simmons: Listen Donut, Church and Shawn thinks I'm a blue guy, so whatever you do, just pretend like you don't know me.
Donut: I don't know you.
Simmons: Yeah, just like that, good job.
Donut: No, I'm serious, I have no idea who you are.
Sarge's body falls down from the ceiling in the background.
Simmons: Okay, stop practicing, here he comes.
Donut: So does that mean you're not gonna tell me who you are?
Simmons: Okay, that's a little too far, no-one's gonna buy that.
Church: Euh, you know I could have used some help new guy, thanks.
Shawn: Yeah, he was heavy!
Simmons: (in a weird voice) I was just securing this prisoner. Which is interesting, considering that I have never met him before.
Church: Why is that interesting?
Simmons: (in the same weird voice) I don't know.
Church: ...Is something wrong with your voice?
Shawn: Yeah, it didn't sound like that before.
Simmons: Oh I was just disguising it, so the prisoner wouldn't think he knew me.
Shawn: That's stupid.
Donut: What?
Simmons: But he doesn't. Do you prisoner?
Donut: Um... no?
Shawn: This is weird.
Simmons: Right. (whispering) Good job Donut.
Donut: Wait, is this some really weird form of torture?
Church: Well, okay, help me load these guys in the jeep before they wake up.
Simmons: Okay. Donut, grab the ankles.
Donut: Okie dokie. How's this?
Simmons: Sarge's ankles, Donut.
Shawn: That's gross.
Cut to Crunchbite leading Tucker, Caboose, Thea and Tex through a tunnel of some sort
Andy: Step it up guys, we're almost there.
Tucker: I'm tellin' you, the alien has really been creepin' me out lately. Every time I wake up he's hovering over me. It's really weird.
Tex: I'm sure he's just safeguarding his sword. I mean, my sword.
Caboose: Maybe he just wants to steal your breath.
Tucker: Maybe he's trying to figure out what I taste like.
Thea: Or maybe he was just curious about how that disgusting brain of yours works?
Andy: Hurry up ya idiots.
Tucker: Man, did it get a lot colder all of a sudden?
Andy: Of course it did. They don't call it the Great Freezin' Plains for nothin'.
Tucker: Whoa.
Caboose: I'm just glad I brought my mittens.
Thea: I am not used to the cold.
Tex: The snow is the least of our problems.
Andy: Why?
Tex: I assume we have to get in to that big temple base thing?
Andy: Yeah...
Tex: Well, it's got about two dozen guards on its walls.
Caboose: Oh no.
Tex: Yep. Doesn't look good.
Caboose: No no no, I mean I lost one of my mittens. Um... we have to go back.
Tucker: Caboose we've been walking for days. We're not goin' back for anything.
Thea: On the way back we can grab it, okay Caboose?
Caboose: I would like that very much.
Tex: Suggestions Andy?
Andy: I say we let Tucker storm in and take 'em out in a mad rush, and while he's got 'em distracted, we finish the quest.
Tucker: On second thought, personal warmth is very important. Let's go get that mitten! It'll be like a mini-quest.
Thea: Moron.
Tex: I think surprise is the key.
Andy: What ya thinkin'?
Tex: Let me take them out, one by one. They will never know what hit them.
Andy: Ya think you can kill 'em all without alerting the rest?
Tex: Just watch me.
Thea: Want some help?
Tex: I'll be fine.
Tex turns invisible using her cloaking ability.
Andy: How can I watch ya, you just turned invisible.
Tucker: And yet, I was still able to check out her ass. That's why I'm a pro. Ow!
Thea punchs him into the ground with a disapproved look.
Thea: You just don't know when to shut up, do you?
Cut back to the Gulch, where Church and Simmons are dropping off the Reds in front of their base.
Church: Okay, Donut, wait until we're gone, and then you can wake 'em up.
Donut: Well what do I tell them?
Church: I don't care, tell 'em you busted in and rescued them. Get yourself a medal. You deserve it.
Donut: I always did wanna be a hero... and a liar.
Church: Well then, it's your lucky day.
Donut: Don't you want anything?
Church: Like what?
Donut: Well, every time someone surrenders they take somethin'. Like when we took the medic, and you guys took Grif's dignity.
Simmons: Hyeah, like that ever existed. Uhhh, I mean, which one is Grif? Is he the yellow one?
Shawn: He's the yellow one.
Donut: And this time you guys don't want anything?
Church: Well, technically you're not surrendering. This is what we call in the Military, a "total asskicking." Oh, and also, we're taking your car.
Donut: What? You're leaving us out here, without any transportation? We'll die!
Church: Die of what?
Donut: Exposure! We're stranded! This is murder.
Shawn: That doesn't even make sense.
Church: Your base is right there, I can see it.
Donut: You may as well just feed us to the buzzards right now!
Shawn: Your weird.
Church: You could have walked back to the base in the time we've been discussing this.
Donut: Go. Just sign our death warrants.
Sarge: Rrouw. Gourough. What's goin' on?
Church: Hey, take care o' that guy.
Simmons: (whispering) Sorry about this Sarge, but look at it this way, you were right; this does hurt you more than me.
Sarge: Is that you, Simmo- (smacked in the head) goh, knocked out again.
Shawn: Man, he just won't stand down will he?
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Red vs blue (female OC) season 4
FanfictionJoin the reds and blues for their next adventure with Thea. Church finds out he has a daughter. Wyoming is still on the loose and is after Thea! It's up to the reds and blues to protect Thea, but an alien comes in the picture and now the blues have...