Fade in to the building the Blues are in
Tucker: Church! Chuu-urch, hey Church!
Church: I'm right behind you dumbass.
Tucker: Oh. Hey Church, do you have a knife?
Church: No. That's a weapon, dude, ask Tex or Thea.
Tucker: Thea said she didn't have one and to ask Tex and She said she had something to take care of. Girl stuff I think.
Church: Huh? Like what?
Tucker: I don't know, I stopped asking questions at 'girl stuff'.
Church: What're you guys doin'?
Tucker: We're gonna teach the Alien how to speak English.
Behind Tucker was Crunchbite, Caboose and Thea looking at a white broad that said 'gi-ve' 'Tuck-er' and 'Give Tucker money'.
Church: How're you gonna do that?
Tucker: People learn English all the time, it aren't that hard.
Church: Maybe you should try learning his language. Like Thea.
Tucker: Screw that, we got here first, and that makes this a colony. Those're the rules, dude. Earth colony, Earth language. And Thea's not gonna be here long.
Church: Tucker there's thousands of languages spoken on Earth.
Tucker: Hyeah, but only one that kicks ass. And that's the one we're teaching. English 101, remedial kick-ass.
Church: Alright, there is no way this is gonna work.
Tucker: Yeah it is, we got visual aids and everything.
Church: Where the hell'd you get those?
Tucker: We made 'em. Turns out Caboose's gun didn't have any bullets- it was loaded with crayons. I just need to cut one of these things, you have a pocket knife?
Church: Hey if you need to cut something, why don't you just use that big sword o' yours?
Tucker: Oh right. Duh.
Tucker draws the sword
Alien: 'What was that?' (sees Tucker holding the sword) 'HE TOOK THE SWORD!'
The Alien jumps Tucker and starts beating him
Tucker: Ahh, what the hell!?
Church: Whoa! Mahan, Tucker, that thing either really hates that sword, or really hates you.
Thea: What's going on-? What did you do!?!
Tucker: Aaaaaaaah, get this freaking thing off me!
Church: Heh wait a second Tucker, this might be a good chance for us to evaluate how these things fight.
Tucker: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
Church: Now hold still. For science.
Thea: Just apologize to him!
Tucker: I'm sorry!
Crunchbite: 'SORRY WONT HELP YOU!!!!'
Thea: Maybe I can get him off you?
Crunchbite: 'IM GOING TO SHOVE THIS SWORD UP YOUR VIGINA!!!!'
Thea: Never mind.
Tucker: Not the face, not the face!
Cut to Blue Base back in the Gulch, to the sound of the radio tuning in to something
Simmons: Sarge, can you hear me, Sarge, come in. Sarge, Sarge do you read me, this is Simmons, come in.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue (female OC) season 4
FanfictionJoin the reds and blues for their next adventure with Thea. Church finds out he has a daughter. Wyoming is still on the loose and is after Thea! It's up to the reds and blues to protect Thea, but an alien comes in the picture and now the blues have...
