Happiness or Just a Dream? AU! Tanjirou x Giyuu

Goodbye

"Giyuu, I have loved you all of my life. You have always been the person I cherished and lived for. From my first breath, to my last, I have spent loving you. If you're reading this, then I'm probably dead. I wonder if the cancer got to me first or if I ended it first. Oh well, I'll see when I get there.

Please don't blame yourself for what was bound to happen. I was going to die one way or another, it just came sooner than expected. But, I want you to live on, if not for me then for Tanjirou. I could tell how much you loved him. From the way you looked at him, I could tell you two were meant to be. You experienced your first love and I'm so happy you got to experience something I couldn't.

It's kind of funny how I'm going to die a virgin, huh? Well, I don't mind because I know you lost yours. I watched the way you waddled and that's when I knew you two had done the deed. I tried so hard not to laugh at your waddling and I think Tanjirou noticed because he kept asking me what was so funny. But I just told him it was nothing.

That cute little waddle, just like the waddles you did when you were in diapers. I still can't believe you wore diapers until you were four. I thought you were still two when I met you at the park, but nope, you were already four almost five. I still laugh thinking about it.

And that moment when I saw you, I knew I liked you. I had fallen in love with how cute and innocent you looked. You were so full of life. Then, everything changed when your father left. You seemed so sad and depressed all the time, although you kept up a smile every time you would come over.

I remember the one night you were spending at my house. We were looking at the stars through the window in my room and you asked me, "Do you think daddy will ever come back," and I had no idea what to say in that moment. So, I just said yes to make you happy. That's all I ever really did. I just wanted to make you happy all the time, and it worked when you were small.

But, then you changed again after your mother passed away. You never told me the details, but I knew it took a toll on you as I watched you go from a happy little boy, to an angsty and depressed teenager. That was when you started acting cold towards me and everyone around you.

I never knew why you acted like that towards me. Maybe it was because you didn't want to lose anyone else close to you? Or maybe you just started resenting me. I'm not sure why, but even then I still loved you. Do you remember those little lunches in your locker I would give you throughout middle school? I gave those to you everyday, hoping you would eat them and gain back the weight you had lost. You were just so skinny, it scared me. I thought you could drop dead at any second, ha! And yet you managed to outlive me.

And you remember when you met Tanjirou up at your usual lunch spot? Yeah, I was up to that too. He said he was so grateful that you saved him and he wanted to repay you in any way since he always saw me around you. So, I gave him the idea of giving you lunches every day like I used to do. I'm so glad you guys got along so well. You were cute, even from the beginning.

I saw something in you I had never seen before. Actual adoration towards someone. That was when I knew you loved him. Still broke my heart, of course.

Later on, when you confirmed you were dating, my heart shattered once again. And this is when I'm writing you this letter. I've been here for some hours just balling my eyes out. Pathetic, huh?

I wasn't sure what to do, but I wanted out of the hospital since I had been and out of them for so long. I've always been sick, it's kind of a miracle I lived so long. But now, I know I can die in peace knowing that you have Tanjirou at your side. You don't need me anymore and I'm okay with that. I love you Giyuu Tomioka with all of my heart.

Goodbye, Giyuu"