Happiness or Just a Dream? AU! Tanjirou x Giyuu

Tearing Apart

Sweat, tears, all that's missing is the blood. I couldn't help but keep running. I was drenched in sweat, tears flying everywhere, and the worst part is that it started raining. It relieved some of the compression of heat on my body, but it just made it harder for me to breathe. At that point, my breathing was so heavy, I thought I was dying. And I had become dizzy from lack of hydration as well as oxygen.

At this point, I just stopped and stood in the rain, calming myself and my body. I couldn't run anymore, it was too much. I just took it all in. How dark it had gotten, the stratus clouds merging with cumulonimbus clouds as more rain kept hitting the ground. It kept getting heavier and heavier. I didn't know what to do at that point. I wasn't crying anymore, my breathing calmed, and I was in the middle of nowhere.

Great. Just great. I started walking this time, hoping I was near my apartment building. I may be in the middle of nowhere, but at least everything else is. So, this is pretty normal for me.

Walking along the deserted road, I gathered some rain water in my palms and drank it. I needed to stay hydrated so I could keep walking. It's part of what fuels my system, and without it, I could end up passing out or losing what food is left in my stomach. And my energy would be gone. Funny enough, the last things I had to eat was when I went to visit the Kamados. So, there's probably not much there.

How long has it been since then? I kept walking, the rain somehow getting heavier. It was beating on my back so hard, it felt numb. I felt so cold and numb. Everything felt like it was hitting me all at once. All of the unwanted pain just hit me from different angles and directions as the sound of my footsteps got louder. I sped up my pace, wanting to get back to my apartment as soon as possible. I didn't want to feel this anymore and I didn't want to die out here from hypothermia.

And now, I was just running as fast as I could again. It would heat me up, but my energy may not last long. So, I just ran for it. I ran because my life did depend on it. And that was when I saw it. I saw the main road that led back to my apartment building. A rush of relief hit me, my anxiety starting to calm down enough for me to get a hold of myself. If I could cry, I would be crying tears of joy. But, all that came out was a yelp and some hard breathing.

Such a small victory, but I was happy. I followed the road back, my body slowly overcoming with pain. My limbs were so tired, but I dragged them with all the force I could muster. I needed to get back there. And that I did.

I made it to the parking lot, then the inside of the building, and lastly to my door. I immediately opened the door, rushing inside to take a hot shower and change into dry clothing.

As I had finished washing up, I heard a knock at the door. I immediately grabbed my towel off the metal pole attached to my shower and went to answer the door. I was sopping wet, but who cares. It's not like it was anyone important at my door.

I grabbed the knob and twisted it as the door opened. I then stared at beautiful scarlet eyes, my face starting to heat up from how naked I was in front of him. Sure, I had a towel on, but my upper body was still exposed. I was about to start having an anxiety attack, so I slammed the door in his face. I went to get a hoodie and some sweatpants, almost forgetting underwear. But I did and got dressed as quickly as possible.

I then went back to the door, reopening it and seeing a confused Tanjirou on the other side.

"Uh, hey. I was told to drop these off since you haven't been at school for a few days," he said, his voice full of worry and concern. His eyes gave me a hint of affection. I stared back at them, my eyes dead and cold as I took the papers away from him. "Thanks," was all I said as I closed the door again.

Then again, I heard a knock as I set the papers down. I opened the door again as I said "What do you need Tan," my voice filled with annoyance. He looked scared, his eyes looking me up and down as I grimaced from all of the attention. "I wanted to check in, see if you're alright. You've been gone for three days, I've been worried sick and no one has seen you," his voice raised at the end as his concern became more apparent.

"I'm fine, just dealing with shit," I stated, my teeth together as I was trying to hold back the urge to yell. "What? You can tell me. I see the way you bottle all of this in, just tell me what the fuck is happening!" I stood there, astounded from his outburst. Out of all of the time we spent together, I had never seen him burst like that. Not even when he was being bullied and harassed. What am I even talking about? I haven't even known him that long.

"Look, I'm okay. I'll be back at school tomorrow, so please don't worry," his eyes trailed me up and down. His hands went up like he was surrendering as he stated, "Okay, fine. Oh, and by the way, you looked good in that towel." My mind went blank as heat rushed up to my face. He looked back at me and winked as I closed the door.

I couldn't handle what just happened. I put my back up against the door and slid down it as my face got redder. Was he flirting with me? Did he mean it? Wait, why am I even thinking about this?! I'm not gay! And I definitely don't want his beautiful scarlet eyes looking at my body. Or his coarse hands touching my torso so gently it would make my heart flutter. Or the sound of his breath in my ear as he whispers my name- NO. I AM NOT GAY. That's just weird.

I was having a hard time breathing, which isn't unusual. But this time, it wasn't caused by my own inner anxiety and depression. No, it was because of a boy. I feel like a teenage girl after her crush just told her she was pretty. But again, I am not gay.

    I stayed at the door until I had finally calmed down. Haha, gay panic. No, it was not. I got up to start working on my school work. I hadn't even realized I had been gone for three days, but I guess my depressive episode hit me harder than usual.

    I went to get my phone so I could cheat and get the answers, but I just saw all of the messages from Tanjirou and Sabito. Most were just Are you okay?! Or Where have you been? But one stood out to me the most. It was from Tanjirou.

Look, I see you're ignoring my messages but I seriously care about you. I don't know what I did wrong, but I just want to hang out with you again. So please, text me back so I can know you're okay. You're the only friend I have.

I put my hand over my mouth as I gasped from surprise and excitement. I finally have a friend! He probably just pities me, but whatever. It's not like I'll get close to him. I texted him back, saying that I was sorry for worrying him. I just told Sabito that I was okay.

Then, I finally went to the kitchen table with my papers and my phone. I spent the whole night catching up on my schoolwork, getting no sleep whatsoever.  Who needs sleep when you have hours of torture and gay thoughts? Not gay thoughts- straight ones. Definitely straight ones.