Happiness or Just a Dream? AU! Tanjirou x Giyuu

Who is Truly Okay?

Another day in this hellhole full of teenagers who either stink, are bigots, just suck, or all three. Not like I'm any superior.

    Sitting in class, I watched as the clock kept ticking. I was waiting for it to finally get to 11:10 so I could go eat lunch. This class was boring and my mind just wasn't in it. Then again, when is it ever?

    Tick tock, tick tock, tiiiiiick tock. Riiiiiing. The bell finally rang, the students all packing up their school work as they ran to their lockers to finally get a break from class. The sound of panting and sweaty teenagers boomed throughout the halls as everyone got their lunches from their lockers or their lunch money to buy their lunch.

    I, however, did not get my lunch. Instead, I went to the stairwell that led to the roof. Waiting for Tanjirou as he grabbed his huge lunch to feed the two of us. He faced toward me, a bright smile on his face. He fast walked to the stairwell, teenagers pushing him to get to the lunch room. He fought his way over to me.

    He made it in one piece with all of the delicacies him and his mother make. The stairs, still deteriorating with age, creaked as we made our way up. With each step, a creak was heard. Some dust fluttered around as well. It's like these stairs are never used, but they actually are.

    We made it to the top, the passageway blocked off. Tanjirou and I looked at each other, fear in our eyes. If we couldn't eat here, then we would have to eat with the others. The last time I was in there, I ended up panicking and running to the restrooms to eat. Social anxiety is a bitch.

    Tanjirou looked over knowingly, a look suggesting he had a plan as well. He took his hand, balled it into a fist, and punched the covered up hole. Now, you're probably thinking he punched it open and we could get to the other side, right? Well, my friend, you are indeed wrong.

    The now freshly painted wall stood with a dent while Tanjirou took the rest of the damage. His hand was covered in blood. "Looks like my first fight was with a wall," he chuckled, looking down at his injured hand. "That's sad," I said back, holding his hand in mine.

I covered his hand with my hoodie, letting no more blood drop as I ran down the steps. I tugged Tanjirou along, his bag of food now on the floor. He dropped it from the pull.

We ran to the nurse's office, letting him go inside. I didn't want to be noticed, especially not after last time. I sat down next to the door, the hall silent except for the faint echoes of voices from the lunch room. I could hear Tanjirou and the nurse having a conversation, just pieces of it. It was mostly about how he got injured. He had explained to her that the wall was 'looking at him funny' and he couldn't refuse punching it. I snorted, the explanation hilarious to me.

After a few minutes, he came out with his hand bandaged and ready to go. "The wall was looking at you funny, huh," I stated sarcastically, laughing a bit. Tanjirou rolled his eyes, walking away with my hoodie in his hands.

"Let's just go back to lunch," his voice was deep and a little hoarse. I wonder why, since he hadn't been screaming. Who really knows with him at this point? He's a mystery to us all.

At this point, I was tired of it all. My whole body was exhausted. I couldn't sleep, I barely ate, and I didn't drink enough water. Everything in my body was now in pain, like someone had just whipped me with a thousand chains. I couldn't keep it up anymore, even if we were just a few feet away. I fell down onto the ground, my whole body going numb.

"Take me home," was the last thing I said as I lost consciousness.

***

    I awoke, my heart beating really fast and my head in pain as I shot up from whatever I was sleeping on. I held my head in my hands, getting up off the bed. But, it wasn't just any bed, it was my bed. How did I get here?

    I looked up, my eyes looking into that of Tanjirous. He quickly got up from his chair, taking me in his arms as he held me up. I made it over to the table, an aspirin and some water on it.

    "You, uh passed out and you said to take you home..." he trailed off, looking at me as I took my shirt off. I forgot to pay the bill this month and it was hot as hell in here. The only option was taking my shirt off. Why the hell was it so hot already?

    "..and you brought me to my house. Good job. A plus for effort," I said sarcastically, taking the aspirin and putting it in my mouth. I took a huge gulp of the water, Tanjirou just watching.

    "Yeah, I did," is all he said, looking away. "What, are my skin and bones too much for you," I snarkily questioned. He looked back over, a look of seriousness on his face as he got up. "How often do you eat," Tanjirou had a grim look on his face, mine becoming grim as well. I didn't want to tell him. Not here and not now. Not ever.

    " I don't..." I didn't know what else to say, my eyes trailing off to the restroom. "God dammit Giyuu! You should realize at this point that I care about you. So why don't you eat?! I noticed a long time ago. How skinny you were. It's why I brought the extra food. Do you have some kind of eating disorder?! Just tell me because I can't take seeing you like this anymore. I can't lose someone else. Not like this," his tone was serious. I was at a loss for words.

    "Look, I'm fine-," "The hell you are Giyuu," he argued back, his voice louder this time. He shook his head, calming himself. "Look, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But at least take care of yourself," is all he said before walking out of the door and shutting it behind him.

    I sat there in total silence, my face stoic. I didn't know he cared that much. We haven't even known each other for that long. So, why the hell should he care about someone like me? Someone who is a loser and never does anything for his own good. A lowlife.

    After about an hour, I got up to get some ramen. There was still some left from the small gift Tanjirou, so I put a bowl in the microwave. I didn't know what to do besides try to get better. If not for me, then for him.

    The microwave beeps signaling that my ramen was done. I sat there in silence, my head blank as I couldn't think of anything. My mind was empty.

    I ate it all, washed the dishes, and headed to bed. As soon as I laid down, everything came back to me and the voices started. You don't deserve him. You're sick. You should just end it all. No one wants you here anyways. And why are you the only one left alive? Why...why...why...why...WHY.

    I was in so much pain, my head feeling like it could explode at any second. I don't know when or how, but eventually everything went silent. The voices faded and I could finally rest. Though, not for long as night had become day. Everything is a pain. Why can't I just like, unalive? It feels like I'm falling. And everything around me is just passing by as I'm suspended in the air.

***
I'm sorry for not updating in a while. I haven't had the motivation nor the stability to write anything as I've been dealing with my own mental issues. I will continue writing it, but it may take more time. And I'm sorry for that. I hope all of you have a good day or night! Please take care of yourselves and try your best because you're all beautiful. -Shrek