Going to Daddy Feb 2021

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Saying goodbye to Mamma is already hard enough...

I kiss her and hug her.
Daddy opens the door to the apartment. 
I kiss Mamma one more time.

My dad tells Simon,"Big Hug." he opens the two doors of the entrance as Simon  gives him a quick hug.

My dad says the same to me and gives me a kiss on the head, which makes me want my mom to kiss it all away again but instead I just walk into the entrance.. into the hallway.

"Ciao, Ciao," Mamma calls, I smile and so does Simon.

"Can I talk to you," my dad asks mamma.

"Ya." I look at her, worried, she winks at me, letting me know it'd be okay.

Simon and I stand on the stairs to watch them talk but my dad gives a shove with his arms, telling us to go upstairs, even though I feel my body trying to stay still.

Of course, we don't walk in the apartment but then he gives us a look, so we walk higher up the stairs.
As I walk up the stairs, I look below at mamma, feeling the space between us growing more apart and apart by the second.

We stop at a corner of the stairs, that they can't see from below.

I plan on listening from afar. 

There are two entrance doors to our building, one to get inside and where the mail is. And then the second to actually enter the apartments, my mom and dad are in between those two doors. I here the door shutting and I hear my dad's muffled voice.

"We have a job," I hear my dad say, "Our job is to decide what's best for her. I want to not know what's going on with Mina. You need to tell me what's going on with the audition process, I don't want to get an email to do this and that," My dad says.

"Mina is the one who does the audition process and my job is to support her, I don't know when the auditions are and when Mina has an audition she takes care of it on her own, telling me if she needs help or not," Mamma answers.

"Yes, but it's our job to protect her, we're sending her into the mouth of the lion. Are you kidding? Mina is a pretty white girl.... These schools are going insane, they don't have our kids' best interest in mind . I don't want them to jab her without our permission,"

"They cannot do that, they always communicate to the families. Mina's teachers have been involved and care to support her efforts getting into the school of her dreams," Mamma answers.

"No, Ellina, the teachers are lazy and don't care,"

"You don't know that, the teachers are trying to help her the best they can,"

"Most teachers aren't coming back to school live. This school pandemic would be over if.." I can't hear the rest of their conversation. 

Simon creaks on the stairs, I put a finger on my mouth, indicating to keep quiet. He walks faster, entering our apartment, I stay to listen.

"The system is trying..-," I can't hear the rest.

"Shhh," I tell Simon as he comes back in the hallway.

"You better take off your jacket, so they don't know you were listening," he says. I sit on the stair steps, still in my snow pants and coats, beginning to get hot.

"No, Ellina, you're not listening," I hear my dad's voice.

"It's okay," Simon tells me, "You know he can't control your life," he says, listening in to the conversation below us.

"Shhhh," I try to listen again,"Sorry, Simon, I have to listen,"

"Yep, he's trying to decide your life." he shakes his head in disapproval and I nod at his comment.

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