a favor for a favor

chapter17

Jay pov

Its been a month since all that happened and I've been staying in an apartment. I told August I need some time and he was mad but I was like he need to see it from my point of view. Like how do he think I would feel if I found out I can't be with him in public then on top of that he has a babymama. Now I think I could've dealt with ALL of that BUT the thing that kills it for me was when I found out August is really mya's father. Like how can anyone except that? To know that the man you've been with for almost a year is one of your "rapist" I mean yes I know he says he didn't know but still to me it was too much. I really need this time alone and I didn't want to relapse like I did last month.

I had just got out the tub and started putting on lotion when there was a knock at the door. I hurriedly put on my shorts and shirt. I answer the door only to be greeted by a pitiful looking August. I was about to shut the door but he put his foot in the way stopping its path from closing.

" jay I just wanna talk ........ Man just let me explain myself at least.", August pleaded.I thought about it for a minute before I let him in he closed the door behind him and followed me to the sofa. I looked over at him and all the hurt I was tryna let go came back all so suddenly it took a lot for me not to cry.

"jay I wanna start off by saying that I love you and I'm sorry ....... To be honest I barely remember that night all I remember is waking up next to you with a hangover and going home. I want you to know that I want us too be together and I'll go public with you but it'll take some time.", He promises me.I just looked at him this hurt me so bad and ion even know why. yes I know it was the past but...... I just can't help the way that I feel. While I was thinking he came out of nowhere and kissed me I didn't break it but I did kiss him back and before I know I was naked and so was he. The way he handle my body while we did what we do was gentle than ever before. The way he looked at me was only a look of love. The way he took his time and how every kiss was as passionate then the last. Every thing he did , he did with care at those moments he made me feel loved and wanted and most of all normal. I just don't see myself without him and I know y'all probably thinking why won't I stop being mad and just get back with him but its not that easy my head ain't in the game I gotta learn how to let this go and move on but until then I just can't be with him and act all happy when I'm not. I woke up the next morning with August's arm wrapped around me securely. I looked at him sleeping and I felt safe with him. He was looking so peaceful that I didn't wanna wake him up. So I carefully removed his arm ,did my hygiene, got dressed, and started to cook. I cooked eggs,bacon,and grits. When I was about to get August , he was coming down stairs. He looked better then yesterday : well rested.