The Assassin And The King [Completed]

|Chapter Thirty-Nine : I Love You|

-----------Kaitlyn-----------

Valerian was frozen.

He had gone stone still the moment I had said him everything regarding Keith and his condition. His green eyes were surveying me as if he couldn't get a single word I had uttered.

At first, I waited. And waited. But when the shock on his face shifted to dread, I felt my heart sink.

He'd never had a good childhood.

Never had the kind of parents he'd want to be like.

Never had the time to think whether he even wanted a child.

And then I dump this news on him out of nowhere.

"I-I I'm...sorry." The words leave my mouth before I can stop myself.

I didn't have a damn clue why I was apologizing or why I felt like an emotional fool as my lips quivered and the waterworks from earlier started building again with full force.

Everything felt so messy. So out of control that it made me want to bawl my eyes out.

I knew it would've been different if it was someone else but when it came to Valerian, I just couldn't stop myself from pouring my emotions out in front of him without a care in the world about what he'd think. Somewhere deep down, I knew he'd never judge. Never use my tears against me. I. . .trusted him more than I'd ever done anyone and the fact was disturbing.

Something might've sounded wrong in my voice as Valerian's head quipped up and his eyes softened the moment they connected with my teary ones.

Scooting closer, he wiped off the tears one by one before kissing my shut eyelids and then my forehead. Pulling me into an embrace, he held me close.

"You don't have to say sorry to me for anything, Kate." His fingers brushed through my hair, "It's not your fault. I should've been careful."

"I. . .you don't want the bab-"

Before I could complete the sentence, Valerian backs off from the embrace only to lift my face, making me peer straight into his blazing eyes.

"Don't ever think I don't want them. God forbid I want them. So much, it hurts. Anything with you is a treasure for me, Kate. Anything. And they're a part of you and me. It's just that. . ." His face was so close to mine, his voice so soft and broken as he said, "I'm. . .terrified."

The admission has me looking at him in surprise. There on my mate's face was complete anguish which made my heart clench.

"I don't want to allow myself even a moment of giddy happiness because then. . .maybe I won't ever want to let go off it." He whispered so painfully low, it was a wonder I heard it.

Those words made my heart spike with uneasiness. Something about it just didn't seem right.

And sure enough, when I gazed at him. Really looked at him, my breath got caught in my lungs at the pain in those emerald eyes, at the defeat glinting in them. But above all, there was raw determination to give up.

My eyes watered as I realised what exactly he meant, "No." I shook my head vehemently, the tears flowing down my face again, "No, you can't."

Valerian rested his head against mine, brushing his fingers over the planes of my cheek, "It's the only way, Kate."