deceit

f i v e

He looked like nothing had happened. He was propped up in the hospital bed a pack of cards between him and Riley. The thin hospital gown made his face look paler, the red rings around his eyes were stark against his blue eyes. 

"Hey Addie" He acknowledged her as she walked, Harry right behind her, a large hand on her shoulder. 

"Hi" She approached the side of her bed, fiddling with the sleeves of her sweatshirt. She didn't know who it belonged to, she had stolen it months ago and none of her brothers had reclaimed it. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" He replied nonchalantly as  his eyes stayed on the cards, placing an ace down onto the rolling hospital table. 

Addie rolled her eyes as her jaw clenched, he almost died and here he was ignoring the elephant in the room. 

"Riley was crying" She said, trying to get a reaction from him. 

"Well my brothers a wimp" He smirked. Riley shot him a filthy look over his hand of cards. 

"It's not funny" Addie snapped, crossing her arms. "You died" 

"I need the toilet" Riley stood up, chucking his cards on the table as he left the room. 

"Mh. Me too" Harry followed him. 

"Well done. You made everyone mad" Thomas turned to her with a scowl. 

"Did you know your heart stopped" She spoke with venom, he needed to understand. "Riley had to pump your chest" 

"I'm just a burden Addie" His voice cracked as he lay down, his eyes flickering across the ceiling. 

"No you're not" Her voice was soft now as she stood next to the bed, her fingers running along the sheets. 

"Everyone's needed. Everyone 'cept me" Addie had to look away from his face. 

"That's not true" She pleaded with him. "It's not" 

"It is Addie." 

"Don't say that" She gripped his hand tightly, as if her touch would make him better. "I need you"

"I'm no good for anyone Addie, especially you. I'm a burden. I stress Harry, I hurt Riley, I'm mean to you and James." 

"No Tommy" She let her head drop on their entwined hands. "I need you. I do."

Thomas blinked. Hard

"I just want to see Harlan. And Joe" He smiled. "And mom. And maybe even a tiny bit of dad" 

"Don't go"

"I need to Ads" A solitary tear leaked down his cheek. "Everyone I love dies. Maybe its my fault" 

"No. NO" Addie shook his arm, drawing his eyes to her "It's not. I love you. I need you, we all do. Please" 

"I'm sorry" Thomas hugged her, pulling her onto the bed beside him. "I didn't mean to make you sad" 

Addie looked at him like he was an undiscovered secret. For the first time she saw vulnerability in him. He was scared. 

"No" She curled up into his side "It's not about me. Promise you won't leave"

"Addie-"

"No" She cut him off, her voice was unwavering. "Promise me"

"I can't" 

"Please" She pleaded "Please" 

"Okay" 

"Promise me" She needed to hear him say it. 

"I promise" It wasn't enough, but it was good enough for now. She lay her head in the crook of his shoulder, listening to his even breathing. 

"I'm sorry" A drip of water trickled from his cheek, dropping onto hers. "I'm so sorry" 

"I love you, okay" Addie rolled over, wrapping both arms around his shoulders. "And I don't want you to be hurting, but you need to hang on. Just for a bit" 

She felt his nod against her shoulder. Addie held him as silent sobs left his body, his shoulders shaking in his embrace. 

She couldn't help crying herself, her brother was so destroyed. Deep down. 

His shoulders were thinner than before, she could feel his shoulder blades poking through the thin gown. How hadn't she noticed before? How had any of them not noticed? They had been to focused on themselves, she thought. 

He hadn't failed them, they failed him. 

Addie hushed him as he lay there, running a hand through his hair like he often did to her. 

"Hang on" She whispered to him once he fell asleep, his damp face finally looking peaceful. Addie nestled in beside him. 

He didn't smell like himself. She could smell the heavy smell of bleach and the carbolic soapy smell of the hospital gown. 

Knowing that he was safe in his sleep she let her shoulders droop beside him. 

It was the slight swaying of her feet that made Addie wake up again. The hospital LED lights bringing a starting wake up call. She knew it was Harry carrying her out the hospital. 

She didn't protest like she normally would, just leant her head into his chest. 

"He needs help Harry" She murmured. 

"I know. And we'll get it for him"

*********

Addie held Elijah's hand as she dragged him about the hospital. 

If it was even possible Elijah had grown as well, his stupidly tall frame towering over even Harry now. His hair still held his floppy boyish curls and his eyes were still bright. But like Harry he was missing things from before. At 19 he had lost his boyish charm, thinking himself more mature - he wasn't. He forced himself into the role of being Harry's second in command. And it didn't suit him. 

"He's in here" She dragged him to Thomas's room. 

But his bed was empty, made up fresh for the next person, the bathroom too was cleaned and empty. 

"Are you sure it's the right room?" Elijah asked with a raised eyebrow. His little sister was notorious in the family for having a shit sense of direction. 

"Yep" She was almost 100% certain. Almost. 

"Excuse me" Addie approached the nurse in the hall who was walking past. "Do you know where my brother is? Thomas Kingston?"

"He was transferred an hour ago" The nurse carried on down the hall with her tray of supplies. 

"Where too?" Elijah asked Addie. 

"What are you two doing here?" The pair jumped around with guilty expressions as they faced their oldest brother. 

"Nothing"

"Tom was transferred this morning" He took a sip of his coffee. "He's gone to a place that will be able to look after him better" 

"You could have told us" Addie whined, she had wanted to see Thomas again. 

"You should have called" He admonished. 

"Your phone was off" Elijah added as Harry walked past them. 

"No signal" He threw over his shoulder as he pressed the button to the elevator. 

"Then how could we call you?" Elijah trailed off as the followed him to the car garage where they had parked.