JUST IN TIME (Author's Reco)

YESTERDAY

JENNIE

Lisa opened the backseat first and made sure Rion's okay. She then opened the front seat door for me and secured my seat belt. God. Our skins touched and we both felt it. We felt it. I kept looking in her eyes but she's really avoiding to have an eye contact with me.

She started the car.

"Da, can I play my Spotify?" Rion asked.

Lisa turned on the bluetooth speaker and Rion started to play some songs. Yes, Beatles songs non stop and I am smiling. God. He's my son.

"Like mother, like son." Lisa said whispering and chuckled. I smiled.

Rion and I keep talking about the Beatles and we both jammed along every song!

"Ri, do you know that John Lennon has this song called "Imagine"? It's his greatest gift to the world." I asked him.

"Not yet. But you want me to search for it on Spotify, Ms. Kim?" He is really adorable.

"If you just want to." I said and as he was typing, he suddenly asked me a question.

"What's your first name, Ms. Kim. Is it okay if you let me know?" He politely asked.

"Jennie." I looked at him and I saw his face suddenly became sad. Lisa and I looked at each other.

"Oh. You're sad about the song? You can choose another one." I said but I felt the tension in my heart.

"No. It's really a nice song. Indeed, a great gift John has ever given to the world. I'm sorry, Ms. Kim. I just remembered my Mom. Her name is Jennie too. I just don't know if yours is spelled same like hers.  You know, until now I am reading Dada's love letters for her that she was not able to give her before. Because it's the only thing that I can feel her. I can get to know her. I am just sad that until now, I have always been asking from God that Mom would show up on my birthday. Every year that's just my wish. Even just for once I would get to see her. But yeah, Dada is right. We should give her time no matter how long it takes. Too see her is just the only gift I want even if she doesn't like us anymore. Maybe just a hug from her will be fine. How I wish she's proud of me if she knows that I am RP. I really pray every night that she's safe and happy wherever she is." My tears kept flowing and I am running out of words. I am trying not to make a sound for him to not see me cry. God. Jennie, how will you able to tell him know that you're his mother? How are you going to introduce yourself?

I try to hold back my tears but it just keeps flowing. Lisa handed me her hanky secretly, but Rion still found out I'm crying.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Maybe we should change the song." He said.

"This one is what my Mom used to sing to me when I was inside her tummy. Right, Da? Mom used to ask you to play this on guitars. If she could only hear me play this on keyboards, for sure, I will make Mom happy." Son, I am really sorry. I regret everything I did.

Here Comes the Sun is a jolly song.

But here I am crying inside the car. Lisa looked so worried. Her eyes are actually becoming teary.

My chest is so heavy. I really want the car to stop now and just hug Rion so tight.

We arrived at Mullen's and we're lucky that there are only few people inside. Some of them recognized Rion and they asked for a photo with him.