JUST IN TIME (Author's Reco)

IN THE ROOM

JENNIE

Our last year in college came. She has still been cold to me. But I never gave up. I woo her as much as I could. But Lisa has become someone unfamiliar to me lately. I actually don't know what to do anymore to take the pain in her heart that I have caused.

Rosé met me at the café. We have been so busy with our personal lives lately and we really need to catch up. Lisa was supposed to be with us but she called Rosé that she can't make it as Jackson will be coming over with Sheri for a short vacation.

"How are you, Jen? I missed you!"Rosé asked and hugged me tight when she arrived. My sister Jisoo came by after a few minutes too.

"I'm good. Still trying my best everyday. You know."I told them.

"How is she? She doesn't talk to us when we asked her about the two of you."Jisoo said.

"Still the same. I really feel guilty until now."I said. Jisoo hugged me. I cried and told them that I really miss Lisa everyday.

"Stop it. You should not feel guilty. We're sorry if we've been rooting for the two of you all these years. We never considered that you have your own feelings too."Rosé told me and her eyes were becoming watery.

"It's okay. You know, if you're going to ask me if I am in love with Lisa. I think you already know the answer.I am. It's just that I am scared of entering a big decision.I haven't felt ready. And because of that I hurt her.She's not a difficult person to love.She's perfect for me. Too perfect that I don't know if I can fill her up. You get what I mean?I want to be the best version of myself when time comes I am ready to commit to her.It's just that

I am really not ready."I told them while I sob in tears and I am thankful they are here to understand me.

Our enrollment came and I noticed Lisa is not around. I called and messaged her but to no avail. I checked the list from the registrar if she has enrolled herself and I didn't find her name. I enrolled her because there's no extension anymore. It's the last day. God. Lisa, what's happening to you?

I ensured all her files and I decided to come over to her place. I also brought food.
Will try my luck. Her gate is open and her car is at the garage. I'm worried if I could get in. I twisted the knob and it's open. God. Her living area is so messy. I even threw some pizza boxes and bottles of beers. Washed her dirty dishes on the kitchen sink. I'll do the rest later.

I'll better go to her room and check if it's clean.  She might be sleeping.

I opened the door and to my surprise, she's on top of this pretty girl with tied wrists and yes, they're having sex. Her eyes widened and the girl covered her body.

I immediately closed the door and continued cleaning her living area. I could hear their loud moans. She continued banging the girl. My heart is so heavy. I wanted to cry but nothing is coming out. Moans are getting louder and louder and my head aches. No.
My heart aches. I decided to vacuum the floor so I wouldn't hear them reaching their peak.

The thought of Lisa having sex with someone melted my whole body as if I can never go back whole again. I looked at the corner and also saw her dirty clothes in the laundry bin. Threw them in the washing machine and fixed everything I could fix in her place. After a few minutes, they went out of the room and Lisa looked at me shyly.

"Call me when you need me."The girl told her as Lisa brought her out of the house since the cab has been waiting.

I prepared the food I bought and put a plate and utensils on the dining table.
She came in. I took the school files for her and placed it on the table while she sat down.

"You have to eat. You're becoming thin.I'll just clean your room."I said and went inside her room not looking at her.

Scattered bottles of beer on the floor. Foil pack of condoms on her desk. Dirty clothes at the corner. Dusty surfaces and not so tidy sheets. I pulled the sheets out of her room together with her dirty clothes and put it in the laundry machine. Took a garbage bag from her kitchen for the empty bottles and some other trash from her room.

I didn't look at her as I passed by but I know she stares at me. I changed her bed sheets and pillow cases. Vacuumed the floor and wipe everything I can clean.

I took my bag in the living area as I fixed myself to go. She blocked the door before I can step out.

"I'm-- I'm so sorry for what you have witnessed."She said apologizing. I just slightly smiled at her.

"Thank you for enrolling me. I really didn't remember the day today.You also didn't have to clean my place but thank you."She looked at me in the eyes.

"Can you stay? Maybe you can stay here with me for a while? Thank you for bringing food."She asked. I could feel our awkwardness.

"Sorry. I have to go. I need to buy some stuff for school. Just text me if you need something too."I said as I held my shoulder bag tighter.

"Please? Stay? I'm really sorry for what you saw."She tried to convince me. I just smiled at her again and went out.

I don't know why my tears kept falling as I drove my way home. I went straight to my room and locked myself. I expected that she would come over and woo me. Or call or text me.

The fuck, Jennie? Why would Lisa do that, huh? She didn't even ask you to do a favor for her, did she?