T W E N T Y - N I N E

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Turning over in the bed I read the blinking numbers before, squinting my eyes slightly due to the brightness

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Turning over in the bed I read the blinking numbers before, squinting my eyes slightly due to the brightness.

3:00 AM

The clock read.

I wish I could blame me being wide awake in the middle of the night due to Talia's obnoxious snoring, but after years of sleepovers, I've learned to fall asleep to it.

I knew the reason I was awake had nothing to do with Talia and everything to do with Myles.

The first time I realized I liked Myles was when I was twelve years old.

Our middle school was having a winter dance and I decided to ask my long-time crush Joshua to the dance.

To say I was infatuated with this boy was an understatement, all he had to do was say my name and I was putty in his hand.

I saw the school dance as the perfect opportunity to make my feelings known to Joshua.

I had my mother help me bake chocolate chip cookies to hand over to Joshua the next day and I even made a card asking him to be my date to the dance.

When the time came for me to ask Joshua to the dance I was brutally rejected.

Joshua told how he could never like someone who was darker than him. 

At that moment I was taken back to kindergarten when I was told I looked like poop.

I was never insecure about my skin complexion before but hearing it from someone you like, really messed with my self-esteem and planted a seed of doubt within me.

From that moment on I couldn't help be apprehensive about liking someone, wondering if they would even like me because of my dark skin.

I was crushed, but I didn't want to give Joshua the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I ran out of the lunchroom, throwing the cookies I spent all night making in the trash.

I faked sick to the nurse so she'll call my mom and take me home.

The moment I got home I immediately went inside the treehouse and poured my heart out.

"Jesse are you okay?" Myles asked softly as he approached me.

I was curled up against the couch, my hair a mess, and my face stained with tears.

"No," I sniffled out, snot in my nose from crying for hours.

Myles sat quietly beside me before wrapping his arm around me in comfort.

Shifting slightly I leaned my head against his shoulder relishing in the warmth he provided.

"Myles, do you think I would be prettier if I was lighter?" I questioned my voice shaky.

I heard Myles inhale sharply at my words, though I kept my eyes forward not wanting him to see how vulnerable I felt.

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