𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 | Hyunsung

Twenty nine - dangeorusly curious

"I was just working like usual today. But, with a twist-I actually felt something other than emptiness today. I was angry, so angry. Angry at everything, I had the urge to break my laptop into pieces. All the damn files to write and reading reviews got me tired. I booked an appointment at a psychiatrist out of pure spite because of it. I'll see how it goes tomorrow."

Hyunjin felt weird reading the text. Job? He didn't have a job now, though. There was still no date anywhere on the page, so Hyunjin couldn't detirmine how long ago this was. But, thinking back at it, maybe it has something to do with the time they met in the gazebo. Judging by the outfit Jisung was wearing, he had probably been at his job that time.

The suffocating feeling still lingered, each breath felt painful to take. Hyunjin was somehow starting to believe it was more than just him, but there was no explination other than anxiety. Maybe his previous panic attack was still affecting him, but he had no intentions of going back to rest.

Turning the page one more time, two papers almost fell out from the book. Hyunjin was quick to catch them, reading the text that was clearly not written by Jisung, but rather a computer.

"Diagnosis for Han Jisung:

Chronic loneliness.
Medication: None. Recomended to get in touch with friends and family members.

GAD (generalised anxiety disorder)
Medication: anti depressants and continued visits at the psychiatrist.

Signed: Son Seong Jun"

Hyunjin's jaw dropped at that point, his focus on the paper infront of him and to keep breathing through the even tougher strain against his throat. He blocked out all sounds, including the footsteps nearing the room.

"What are you-HEY!" a sudden voice yelled, causing Hyunjin to snap his gaze towards the doorway as he quickly closed the book with the note inside, shuffling it back on the desk in a panic. The tension between them both in the room was painful. Hyunjin wasn't sure what to say, anything he said could make the already bad situation even worse.

Jisung took a step closer, his face completely frozen in a frown, yet his eyes burning with anger, but also something else that Hyunjin had trouble understanding.

"Did I ever allow you to read through my notebook like that?!" Jisung hissed, causing Hyunjin to fill to the brim with fear. This was worse than the time at the beach. Hyunjin really messed up here.

With a shaky, low, voice, all Hyunjin could manage to press out was "i'm sorry, I know it was wrong."

Jisung walked up right infront of him. Despite being shorter he seemed to tower over Hyunjin with his intimidating gaze, causing him to feel nauseas as the scene of Jisung punching that innocent tree replayed in his mind.

Hyunjin flinched as soon as he felt Jisung's hand on his shoulder. He was scared to look into the raging eyes that Jisung wore, knowing it was all his fault for him to feel like this.

"That's all you have to say? Really Hyunjin?" His low tone didn't make anything better, and all he could respond with was a slight nod.

Frustrated, Jisung let go and ran his hand through his hair, pacing over to the other end of the room. He swiftly turned around and stared at Hyunjin, this time an emotion he couldn't make out danced behind the perfect brown colour in the other's eyes.

"How much did you read?" Jisung said calmly, but Hyunjin could clearly hear the undertone of anger along with his harsh breathing. He gulped and clenched his fist in any hope to hide his fear.

"T-the diagnosis", Hyunjin's voice broke at the end, tears filled his eyes that he so desperately tried to blink away.

Jisung took a step closer, causing Hyunjin to flinch backwards, legs giving up on him, not stopping him from backing away as fast as he could from Jisung. He felt something cold hit his back and he abruptly came to a halt. Jisung didn't however, and unable to tell the intention everytime the other inched closer, Hyunjin's own beating heart was the only thing he could hear through his panicked breaths, his vision went black and his body tensed up, ready to take a hit.

Instead of pain, he felt a gentle pair of arms wrapped around his frail body, gentle, warm breaths on his collarbone through his thin sweatshirt and a warm body pressing against his. He slightly opened his tear filled eyes, hesitatintly wrapping his arms around Jisung infront of him. He tried following the steady breathing against his collarbone. One breath in, one breath out.

"I'm sorry Hyunjin, i'm sorry. It's so hard to control my anger", Jisung mumbled.