𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 | Hyunsung

Twelve - comforting panic

Jisung woke up to something poking his arm. He opened his eyes and saw Aspen infront of him all worked up.

"Leave me alone" Jisung mumbled and pushed Aspen's hand away, turning around to avoid facing him and burying himself up in the blanket even more. Aspen nudged his side and let out a whine. Jisung already had enough of it.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE YOU PATHETIC MONSTER!" he yelled and hid his face in his arms under the blanket, sobbing furiously. Aspen backed away and left the room, leaving Jisung to be alone for some time.

Jisung eventually stopped sobbing after he was left alone, only shaking while pouting. He wrapped his blanket tighter around himself, giving him a vague feeling of being hugged. He already wished to talk to Hyunjin again. Maybe he could get a hug from him if he tried hard enough.

The thought eased Jisung a bit. Everything felt less stressful when thinking about him. The warm jacket, too big for him yet very comforting. Kkami's soft fur, he missed it. Yes, he does prefer cats, but he likes dogs nonetheless. He almost fell asleep with the comforting thoughts lurking in his mind, before he heard the whiny growl from Aspen in the doorway. Jisung carefully sat up and looked at the creature.

"What do you want?" He asked. Aspen let out a low growl.

"Upset now, aren't we? You have no right to be!" he yelled back. "Go make your own breakfast, if you made noodles once you can surely make it again" Jisung said bluntly.

He laid back down in his bed, wrapping the blanket around himself and forcing back the tears building in his eyes. He was scared, scared of Aspen. But he didn't want to admit it. He had gotten attatched to Aspen, and was now trying to push him away again. He didn't want or need anybody's help.

That's when he felt it. What he didn't want to feel. The cold arms. Not hugging him this time, but stroking him. Maybe his weird position didn't allow for a hug, but he didn't care. He didn't want the comfort from Aspen. The cold comfort, he didn't want any of it. I'm perfectly fine on my own. That's what he tried to convince himself.

"STOP! PLEASE STOP! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Jisung blubbered, tears running down his cheeks while violently sniffing. Aspen refused to back away this time, grasping him in a tight hug. Jisung curled up even tighter in a slouch, covering his teary face with his hands. He struggled in Aspen's grip, uncomfortable at the touch yet longing for it so much.

~

Jisung had finally calmed down, and was now standing in the kitchen making himself dinner. He cut the vegetables with a blank expression, he knew Aspen was observing every move he made from afar. He didn't know how to feel about him anymore. Aspen had helped him calm down, but he was also the reason for losing his job. The only thing Jisung had to keep himself distracted from longing and emptiness. He sighed and glared at Aspen, who was sitting in the living room couch.

"Why are you watching me? I'm not done with the food yet, it'll be ready soon."

Aspen only nodded, but kept his gaze at Jisung. He wasn't impatient, he was just worried, but Jisung didn't want to think he was.

Jisung turned back with a sigh and finished cutting the vegetables, putting the meat on the pan, frying it while waiting for the rice to finish. Jisung caught a movement outside the window through the corner of his eye, he looked up and out the window, only to be met with the usual seaview, nothing special. He noticed a raven sitting on a branch in a lilac bush, peering right at him.

Jisung shook his head and went back to cooking. The meat was ready, and the rice cooker played the usual monotonous song that indicated the rice was ready. Jisung put all the ingredients in two bowls, along with the meat. He fluffed the rice and put some next to the meat, topping it off with a fried egg on each portion.

"The bibimbap is ready," Jisung muttered, placing the bowl and chopsticks on the living room table.

The old collar caught his attention again. He forgot he had put it there, or even found it because of his stressful week. He grabbed it and held it up infront of Aspen, who was already eating. He looked at it, twisted and turned the collar. It was navy blue with accents of a shimmering gold colour. There was a ring on it, indicating that something like a name tag could have been attatched to it. He put it down and began to eat, feeling a bit better after not eating for the entire day.