all my stars lead to you

chapter 36

purvi took a deep breath, before she rang the bell. she played with her fingers in agitation as she waited for someone to answer the door. ishita opened the door, surprised to find purvi. 

"hey, woh, uhh kuch kehna tha...i'm sorry, if i disturbed you or something...." flustered purvi. 

"no, it's ok...uhhm, kya baat hai?" asked ishita. 

"uss raat jab, maine dekha tumhare papa aur tumhe uss haalat mein, i panicked, and i actually didn't know what to do. but i was convinced, that this time, i won't let him do what he did to my mom....a part of me also just, wanted to punish him for it. i thought i did the right thing, but i also felt very guilty....and i guess that was because of the effect it might have had on you...i am sorry, if i caused you problems, i guess..." explained purvi. 

"you know, purvi, today, i knew i was just coming to my home, a place i have lived for my whole life...but today, there was this strange feeling that came with it, i was not scared...i wasn't worried about my mom, or dad...i just, felt home...i am sorry for what happened to your mom, and i can't think of anything about his death, other than the fact that he, deserved it. i guess, you don't really owe me any apologies.." responded ishita, as purvi scoffed. 

"good to know, i guess.." remarked purvi. 

"curry achi thi, by the way..." added ishita, as purvi chuckled. 

"i'll tell her that..."  retorted purvi. 

"uhhm, good night, i guess.." said purvi, as she turned back to leave and ishita was about to close her door. 

"purvi!" called ishita, as purvi turned back. 

"can you, tell dushyant, i love him, a lot...i am just worried, if i get close to him right now, i'll ruin it...and i, i don't wanna do that.." she uttered as she covered her face with her hand. 

"ok, that's, not a great speech, at all..."remarked ishita as purvi chuckled. 

"don't worry, the message is great...i'll tell him." said purvi, as she left and ishita closed the door. 

she rested her back on the door as she closed her eyes and remembered what had happened a while ago:

ishita was first to break the eye-lock as she looked away. 

"that's really sweet, dushyant...but trust me, i just don't deserve that..." stated ishita. 

"why would you think that...." commented dushyant. 

"my own father tried to rape me, my mom was always angry with me...and, i tried, but, i couldn't cry when any of them died, because i missed them or that i was said about it....i was relieved! what kind of a person does that make me..." argued ishita. 

dushyant walked from the back of the sofa, to come and sit next to her on the sofa. 

"it tells me about who your parents were ishita, not you..." consoled dushyant. 

"would they have been better people, would they love me?" questioned ishita, as she looked straight into dushyant's eyes.  

"i think they did love you, maybe just, things that happened to them, left them completely incapable of expressing it." pacified dushyant. 

"sometimes, people just treat you bad, it doesn't have to do anything with you...they just, had a f**ked up life.." added dushyant. 

ishita nodded in agreement, as she face palmed herself and sighed loudly. 

"you know, you are right, you should take some time alone..." said dushyant, as he got up to leave. 

"dushyant!" called ishita,when he had almost reached the door.