all my stars lead to you

chapter 14

Kavin came to the room at night, to the usual sight of dushyant smoking by the window. But today, it wasn't something he would be shrugging off casually. He marched upto dushyant as he snatched the cigarette away from him.

"what the!"yelled dushyant.

"bhul gaye subha kya haalat hui thi?" recounted kavin.

"aur tum mujhse jhoot nahi bol sakte ho!"warned kavin.

"ofcourse, who knows an addict better than an addict?" remarked dushyant.

"what do you mean?" questioned kavin.

Dushyant, who just scoffed at the question, took out his cigarette box with four of them missing from there.

"i think we both know who took them." Claimed dushyant, as kavin naturally grew uncomfortable, and dushyant snatched back the cigarette.

"itne saalon baad suddenly mere saamne thi woh, i couldn't control myself..." explained kavin.

"but you know why i quit? Because doctors ne clearly keh diya tha mujhe, ek agar zyada smoke kiya na, toh jab agli baar behosh pada honga, toh waapas na utho!" he exclaimed.

"cardiovascular disease ke early symptoms?" commented dushyant nonchalantly, as kavin raised his brow at him.

"toh tum marne ki hi planning kar rahe ho...." concluded kavin.

"dekho, mujhe pata hai mujhe marna hi hai, ab bas apni deadline pin-point karna easy ho jayega..." remarked dushyant, as he continued smoking.

"have you lost it?" asked kavin rhetorically.

"pata toh tumhe bhi tha, ki agar ek cigarette accept karoge, toh saalon ki mehnat se aaya hua control khodoge, but did that stop you?" questioned dushyant.

"fine, it was a weak moment for me, and i lost it..." confessed kavin.

"well, that's my life in a nutshell." Remarked dushyant.

"oh really? I lost my father dushyant! He's gone and he will never come back....that's why i started smoking. And why i stopped? Main apni maa ko aur dukh nahi dena chahta tha, kyunki woh shayad jhel hi nahi pati...aur phir uss hi maa ne bina mere baarein mein soche, mujhe do ajanabeeyon ke saath unke ghar mein daal diya! How is anything worse for you!" yelled kavin as he vented out his frustrations.

"your father died kavin...you could live knowing that he would have loved you and stayed with you if it wasn't for this....my mom, she left me by choice, knowing how much i'll be hurt...today i found out that apparently it was because she hated her life in all those years i was with her, and i was a purpose in her life that was easily replaced by a job! And then i spend all these years in loneliness, just being a good kid, so that my dad is happy ...and guess what! It wasn't enough for him and he too, without for once, thinking about me, got a wife and a free a kid in the combo and he expects me to see them as family! So yes kavin, i do have it worse..." ranted dushyant, as he and kavin looked at the other direction.

A part of them enraged at the thought that the other thought they could compare their misery with them, but the other part of them accepting, that deep-down what they experienced was the same. 

"sorry." Blurted out dushyant, as kavin too faced him with slight guilt.

"i am sorry too." Reciprocated kavin.

"mujhe lagta tha, yeh sab mere liye hi strange hai...." confessed dushyant.

"kaise maa-baap meli hain yaar humein." Remarked kavin, as they both shared a chuckle.

"you know, tu itna bhi annoying nahi hai..." complimented dushyant, as kavin raised his brow.

"haan, kyunki tu hai zayada annoying!" argued kavin, as dushyant slapped his arm playfully, as kavin hit him back. they both continued this very childish way of combat, only stop when they couldn't help but burst out in laughter.

"i can help you...." offered kavin, with this genuine empathy, that made dushyant nod him agreement. It was the pity he always hated, he was glad to get something else. 

                                                                ***

Kavin was composing himself in front of the mirror, when dushyant threw his car key for him to catch.

"you are driving me to college today...." he said as kavin gladly obliged.

"hey, i'm doing you a favour, i invited purvi." Clarified dushyant.

"you're welcome." Said dushyant as he patted his shoulder while leaving as a smile came on kavin's face.

                                                           ***

While purvi was waiting for her bus, kavin honked the car for the society watchman to open the gate.

"oye, aaja, bina gaadi ke saamne aaye lift de rahe hain." Announced dushyant as purvi chuckled and got into the backseat.

"just to be clear, i still hate you..." teaseddushyant to purvi, as kavin started to drive away.

                                                  *** 

author's note: finally, a light-hearted chapter because the drama has been honestly, even making me claustrophobic. but, there's obviously a lot left to uncover, so stay tuned.