Street Lights | Meanie Oneshots

Self destruction

(😬💩💩)

◇

What a disaster they were,,,

He looked at him with flames in his eyes, with the desire to give him everything he wanted, everything he deserved, he was ready to drop everything for the boy. Yet as he set a flame to the world around him, not one burning ember touched the boy, as everything burned to pieces the boy stayed untouched. As the fire heated up everything, he kept the boy warm with merely his presence.

He looked for him first whenever he entered a crowded room. He looked for him in every audience, in every busy street, even in an empty field. He was hopeless, but how was he supposed to know when every time he did so, the sight he'd always be met with was astonishing. He was weak, enthralled, intoxicated perhaps, and all because of a certain being that couldnt quite escape his mind. A happy grin was what he'd see, was what captivated him. That stupid smile, he bathed in the sight like it was sweet honey.

Jeon Wonwoo exhilarated him,,

In ways he couldnt explain, ways he couldnt process, ways he couldnt even understand. Ways that would make him stutter when asked to say, that would make his tongue get tied in knots whenever he got questioned. He was a mess for the boy. In simple words, if he could even find the right words for the boy,,

He was the poem Kim Mingyu wanted to write.

He felt stars inbetween their skin whenever they grazed ever-so lightly against eachother, a heart ready to jump out of his chest as they intertwined their fingers. He felt fireworks when he was with him. He felt like himself. Perhaps thats what caused his infatuation for the boy, his extreme liking towards him. For, Kim Mingyu, found home in a place, or in someone, he never expected to.

Though, it was a bit foreseen. If you were to ask their friends atleast. Because through shy greetings first thing in the morning, timid smiles, and the fondness that roamed through their veins whenever they'd see eachother, just how could you expect them to say they didnt have something? To say that, they never had a connection? Or maybe, just maybe...a relationship?

It was something never bound to bloom, though. Because even as they held hands through heated cheeks, as they shared coffee in the early mornings of class, as they looked at eachother with reciprocated smiles, he knew nothing would come out of it. As smitten as they were, it was illicit, restricted, and out of his arms to reach. Nonetheless, he held the moments in his hands like an idiot, keeping the moments plastered in his mind relentlessly. As if doing all those would give him everything back.

However doing those, would have been fine. It would have been completely fine if he just..hadnt turned into a blind eye. If he had just stopped wanting, if he could have just given up in the triangle he was stuck in, he would have been okay, fine, anything. He shouldnt have acted like nothing bad was happening just so he could get more of what they had, if he just wasnt so- greedy for it. He should have moved on.

But how could he, for, this was Jeom Wonwoo we're talking about after all.

Everything was fine really, normal, calm and he had no complaints, - yet - But if it wasnt for that one particular night, that one particular night where the Full Moon was present, shining bright as it luminated the neighbourhood, it was serene. With only the cricket's laughter engulfing the quiet and peaceful evening. The two were found together in the taller's room.

He should have been content with staying as close friends, he should have been satisfied with what they had, and he shouldnt have asked for more. Because as he sat there, on the other end of the bed, with Wonwoo across him. As he sat there, staring at the older with such liking, and an immense amount of inclination for the boy. As he sat there, completely and utterly entraptured by him, butterflies in his stomache and hearts in his eyes,,

Wonwoo felt nothing at all.

And as Mingyu asked him a question he shouldnt have, all he could wish for was that addicting smile that was encrypted into his mind and reassurance, but we dont always get what we want right? "What do you think of me?" He asked as he looked up in anticipation, and God did he regret allowing those words to tumble out his mouth, how he hated how brainless he was at that certain moment. he hated how utterly sweet those words felt at the tip of his tongue,,

Yet what he got back was bitter.

"You're a great friend, be my wingman next~! Junhui asked me out on a date"

Oh.

Oh..

We're all just a bunch of addicts struggling with a drug of our choice, right? Perhaps, Mingyu's was Jeon Wonwoo. As Icarus loved the Sun, Mingyu stood there like a tall candle. Fondly staring at the sun above him, getting closer at times but then pulling back, wanting more and wanting to much of it. Even with the moon accompanying the sun, everyday and everynight, chatting with him and teasing, The candle stood in his place. Blinded by the brightness of the sun. Too blindthat he couldnt even see their mischief.

But, Despite knowing he'd melt, he kept going. Despite knowing someone else had an eye for the latter, he kept going. He kept going and going, blinded by the burning want he had for Wonwoo. Caged in a place where he thought everything was okay and in a place where he dreamed and continued to dream about a love that slipped through his fingers. Caged in a place where he blocked the times where he had seen the chinese boy and Wonwoo together as if they were in their own world.

Caged in a place, in which he had the key to unlock.

The rest of the night was spent with a soaked up pillow, eyes glued to the ceiling, and he stayed awake wondering what he did wrong until he lost concept of time.

4 am was definitely easier to survive with the help of Jeon Wonwoo,,

But loving him was the most exquisite form of self destruction, to Kim Mingyu.

The end.

•1129 words (i tried)

Omg..i updated?? And with an angst?? Wtf is wrong with me BSKSNSKSJSJ also this is kinda shit but i have a fluff thats coming out next so hopefully that makes up for this one. Its basically "Unrequited" but Mingyu's ver and is vv short...😭??

Ykw this oneshot makes no sense FJDKJD