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dear mason mount,
it's been a while since we spoke, well we're not even speaking because i'm writing this instead of saying it, but that's besides the point. i don't know why i decided to do this, maybe it's for closure or maybe it's just the official end to our relationship.
you loved me like nobody else had ever done before and everyday that we were in each other's company, i knew that it would've been an amazing day. you made me feel so comfortable with both you and myself as you taught me how to love myself when times were difficult and it felt as if the entire world was against me. you reassured me endlessly when i would read the many negative comments on any post you did about us.
"babe? are you in here?" masons voice was loud as he came into our bedroom, clearly coming to look for me as he hadn't seen me in a while. but with getting no verbal response back from me other than hearing my muffled sob coming from our bed, his face softened as he walked over to me. "budge up."
hearing his soft voice, it was so clear that he wanted to help and figure out what was wrong with me, i moved slightly across to the middle of the bed so he could get under the covers with me. and as soon he was in a comfortable spot in the bed, both of his arms instantly went around me. the hoodie he was wearing smelling of the aftershave that could send me to sleep at any time being like a security blanket as this very moment, as my head was nuzzled into his chest i could feel him running his fingers through my hair as an attempt to calm my emotions.
"what's the matter, my love? what's got you so upset?" he asked cautiously, his tone soft and gentle as he didn't want me to get more upset before even telling him the problem. feeling as if i wouldn't be able to get any words out without sobbing in the middle of speaking, i shown him my phone. the screen being full of the comments by his followers who name called me and slagged me off without a care in the world making him furrow his brows as he scrolled through and read through some of them.
"i don't know why i read them, i'm sorry." i sobbed, the words that i was saying being choked out because of the lump in the back of my throat.
"what are you apologising for, darling? you have nothing to be sorry about, absolutely nothing." mason murmured into my hair but loud enough so i'd be able to hear it properly, him now scooting himself down so his body was no closer to mine.
"it's my own fault, mase. i do this all the time and i never learn."
"none of this your fault, okay? i need you to understand that, y/n." his voice got more serious and assertive but it still remained soft and calm. "what these people are saying is not true. these people sit behind their screens and type it because they're to scared to say it in person face to face and they waste their time by commenting horrible things that aren't even remotely true and you have to remember that. you, my love, are an absolute godsend and you're such an amazing woman with the personality to go along with it all. you're a triple threat and they need to beware of you."
his last sentence making me giggle, a contrast to how i was feeling only a few moments prior but that's we worked; i could be crying over something stupid one minute and the next i was clutching my stomach trying to stop laughing.
"but overall, you're you and you're perfect to me and so many others in this world. and i will do absolutely everything in my power to see yourself how i see you, i promise you."
or those drunken karaoke nights we'd have, whether it be at the pub with our friends or in the comfort of our own homes, that was my favourite thing to do with you for many reasons.
i remember the first time we did karaoke and it was so awkward and embarrassing for both of us. i didn't want to go before you and you certainly didn't want to go first so we decided to go on together and do a duet. we sang grease that night, as if we were recreating sandy and danny whilst our friends cheered us on.
but my favourite memory of us definitely has to be the late night car rides where we would scream the lyrics to iconic throwbacks, disney songs or taylor swift and ariana grande.
"so why can't you see? you belong with me!" we both shouted the lyrics out as loud we could, both of the windows down causing the wind to hit us make us grow colder by the second. he was driving with his arm out the window even though it wasn't the warmest of days and i was sat on the seat, both of my feet tucked into my body.
"you belong with me!" we sang again, us both locking eyes for a quick second before mason watched the road again, and even though it was late at night mason didn't want to risk getting in an accident.
"you've got a smile that could light up the whole town." the lyric that mason always sang to me came on, him now resting a hand on my thigh causing the already prominent smile on my face to grow even wider.
and you shown me the true meaning of love, whether it was self love or love for another being. i loved you so much more than i loved myself and i don't even know why, i think it was because i was so safe with you and in your presence so i put all my love into you but i honestly didn't regret it but i'm questioning that choice now.
we promised each other that we would never hurt the other or do something that would cause the other to feel betrayed and we did that before i saw that article.
the article they wrote about you and that girl.
i remember the headline so clearly, mason, and it broke me when i read it and saw all of the photos they took of you both. i don't think i'd ever seen you so happy before, you never smiled that much when we went out or when the paps took photos of us both but i guess that's how she makes you feel.
she's pretty. she looks kind. she probably gives you butterflies and i completely understand why. if you two do end up together, i wish you both the best.
and if you don't then any woman is so lucky to have you as her boyfriend. i wish you nothing but happiness and luck for the future and for your career.
i didn't write this for a reply because it's simply for my own well being so please don't.
