Song 2 You

Chp. 4: A Permenant Scar

TW - self harm

Jade POV

I woke up to a note on my pillow next to my head. I don't really remember what happened last night, but hopefully this slip of paper could remind me. All I know is that I went to some rich dudes house with Cat. Everything is just a daze after that. I picked up the note.

Hey, Jade.
You hit your head last night from the earthquake and couldn't drive by yourself. So, I took you home. Hope you don't mind :)
-Beck

Earthquake? There was an earthquake? The memories of last night started to come back.

Let's see ... Beck showed up ... Earthquake ... Arguing ... Falling down the steps ... Going in Beck's car ...

Oh, I must have fallen asleep in his truck. Wait, does that mean he carried me in here? Why would he do that? He could have just woken me up and saved himself the extra trouble.

And that's when I noticed something else. I looked down at my arms and saw that the makeup I had put there had been smeared and wiped off.

Did Beck do this?

He can't see that I've started cutting again! Then he'll try to get all up in my business and stick his nose where it doesn't belong.

Pushing these thoughts aside, I get out of bed and freshen up in the bathroom. Once I got out, I went downstairs to get some coffee, and once again skipped breakfast.

I got my stuff together and headed out to school.

After School - Beck POV

I just got back from school and I sat down in my RV. I didn't mention anything to Jade, despite the feeling of need to help her. The more I think about it, the more I wish I did something to try and get her to stop. I hope she didn't notice that the makeup on her arms were gone. The last thing I need is for her to find out that I know.

Upon consideration, I think I came up with a pretty good plan.

After School - Jade POV

I tumbled through the doorway of my room and fumbled around to try and find the small sharp object.

Oh for fucks sake, where is it?

A gleam of shimmering light caught my eye from across the room.

Aha! There it is.

I rushed over to the razor and took it to my bathroom. School was tuff today. No one wanted to talk to me, which is how I like it, but it still hurt that no one cared to try. I mean, why should they? I'm mean, cold, and kind of violent. I'm only like that around people I don't really care for, but they don't need to know that. Anyways, I'm pretty much the worst person on earth, and I'm honestly not surprised that people don't care for me at all. Again, why should they care about me? Hell, I don't even care about me.

Why am I still here?
Would people even miss me if something bad happened?
What's the point in still trying to be happy when I know I don't deserve happiness?
The world has made it clear that it doesn't want me to be happy.

A couple of my salty tears fell to my arms, joining the blood that was running out of the fresh cuts.

After wiping away my tear stained face and my blood stained arms, I got into bed and quietly cried to sleep.

.............

I woke up and looked around. It was dark outside, so I looked at the time.

2:43 am